Some things to tell you.
I keep crying.
But not like.. sad tears, just I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON tears. Tears when Ed Sheeran comes on the radio, tears when Jeremy Corbyn tweets something relatively nice, tears with the cancer adverts, tears when the baby kicks me really hard and reminds me that it’s coming soon, tears when Chris buys me chocolate, tears when I look at a photo of my nan, tears when I touch anything in the nursery.
Honestly, it’s exhausting trying to not look like a sticky, slobbery, blotchy hippo at the moment.
If half for the tearful outbursts, and the rest because I am looking like one heck of a pregnant lady all of a sudden and nothing really fits – even jumpers three sizes too big struggle to contain my impending bundle of joy.
I am looking so pregnant that when I posted a side-on bump shot to my personal Facebook account my step mum asked me if there was any chance my due date was wrong and that actually I’d conceived sooner because she couldn’t see how I could possibly get any bigger.
So that’s me.
It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for midwife and hospital appointments too – which I guess is to be expected now that we’re very close to tipping into the ninth month of pregnancy.
We had our 34 week scan which was booked in back at my 20-week scan because of my low-lying placenta (which basically meant it was in the way of the baby’s exit route out of my vagina).
I was a bit thrown because the hospital actually wanted to do another growth scan too, which I hadn’t known before waltzing into the scan room and jumping up on the bed ready to pull my pants down.
They ended up doing both a classic ultrasound (cold jelly on the belly) and an internal one, where they stick a probe inside you – I’d had one of these at my fertility MOT so it wasn’t a complete shock and I just closed my eyes and used my hypnobirthing breathing to chill out and it really wasn’t all that uncomfortable.
The growth scan revealed that the baby is already estimated to be at six pounds, whilst there was some conflicting feedback about my placenta from the sonographer and the consultant I saw after my appointment.
Thankfully, I have a hero of a midwife who went to the hospital herself and looked at my notes and chatted with another doctor before giving me a call to make sure I felt completely clued-up and reassured.
Bottom line? My placenta has basically scraped past the entrance to my cervix and is about 2mm from clearing the NHS guidelines for a natural birth, which means they’re happy for me to proceed on as normal and they’re not considering a C-section at the moment.
They have, however, booked me in for a 38-week scan just to check on the baby’s size again, in case I need to be booked in to give birth on the consultant-led ward, rather than the midwide-led one. Apparently a big baby means I’m more likely to need medical help – and I guess also means there’s a chance of an early induction or cesarean.
So yeah – lots of info to get my head around.
I’ve been trying to throw myself back into hypnobirthing practice – listening to calming tracks on YouTube, whacking on the essential oil diffuser and turning on the fairylights in our bedroom.
I also invested in some of the affirmation cards from YesMum – and although I do find affirmations in general a bit cringe, there’s some in there that have really helped me feel calmer and more in control.
My current fave is: ‘I take control of what I can, and I let go of what I can’t’.
I can’t control when this baby comes or how it will come, but I can create a safe, healthy, relaxed, chilled atmosphere. I can step back from work. I can practice my breathing exercises. I can make sure we have everything we need and that we feel confident and calm and ready. I can try and eat more veggies and make sure I’m getting enough sleep. I can put myself and this baby first. And y’know what? Accepting that feels really bloody good.
What else can I tell ya?
I’ve started getting a bit of indigestion here and there and my and my gal pal Gaviscon are becoming quite close. NCT is going well – we had a cracker of a breastfeeding workshop and we’ve even organised TWO lunches with our new parent friends. My boobs have started leaking onto my pyjamas which is a treat to wake up to. Oh, and aside from some snacks and drinks for the hospital bag, I think we have gathered everything we need for those first few weeks.
Tomorrow I tip over into week 35 and lol ok just two weeks away from being considered ‘full-term’.
V excited to see your little face, baby. We’re almost ready for you.