I dunno about you chaps, but like, Christmas is NEXT WEEK and I’m like, where’s that sweet, buzzy, jolly feeling in my belly at?
He’s a bit late this year. By now I’m normally hugging the Christmas tree and sobbing with happy tears and omg isn’t life so perfect and how can it be nearly 2016 and can someone pass a girl another mince pie.
And, yuh huh, I totes know I’ve already mentioned my lack of festive spirit like two days ago in another post, and you’re probably all rolling your eyes like come on, leave the house, go find some new writing material.
So, well, I thought I’d throw together a list of all my favourite Christmassey activities of all time in the hope that it makes either me, or you, feel a little bit more like a 5-year-old secretly hoping to catch Santa crouching down to pick up the carrot you left out for him for one of the reindeers currently perched on your roof.
And, if in doubt, throwing together anything even slightly festive-themed just for these photos made my soul feel a little bit lighter and floatier and full of spirits. So, there’s that if you don’t mind having to scoop up loads of red-coloured bits and pieces from across your living room floor after you’ve finished staring at them and breathing them in.
1. Buy a Camembert. Do something fancy like poking in some garlic cloves or bits of rosemary. Then eat it for dinner with some Christmas chutney and warm, crusty bread. Heck, get a few more cheeses involved, eat a giant cheese board for dinner midweek just because you a fly bitch and it’s Christmas and you don’t need no kale.
2. Invest in a Christmas duvet set. Who cares if it’s Egyptian cotton or good quality when you’re literally only going to be sleeping in it a few weeks of the year. (This one is seriously flippin’ cute), and then hang up some fairy lights in your room and BOOM, the first and last thing you’ll see every day is an actual real life grotto. You winning, girl.
3. Bake mince pies. (Or y’know, cut out some circles from some pre-rolled pastry if you’re ahem, short of time).
4. Make an old school Christmas CD for your car, if, ya know, your car isn’t current and hip enough for you to plug-in your phone or whatever – like ours :(:(:(:(
5. Make mulled wine. And mulled cider. And by making it I mean drinking it in large quantities at any given time of day.
6. Go for a drive to look at all the Christmas lights up on houses in your local area. (Best done when it’s not rush hour obvs and you’ve got some car snacks and good tunes on the go).
7. Buy a giant tin of Celebrations/Quality Street/Miniature Heroes and just keep them next to the sofa, like a blanket. Eat at least 3 every time you sit down.
8. Hit your local Starbucks (because let’s face it gal pals, those beauts red cups beat Costa’s animal cups every damn time, soz) and order something without the word ‘skinny’ in it. Add cream. Add a syrup that sounds a bit rich and overwhelming and why the flip not. Feel like the queen of coffee sass.
9. Start waking up 10 minutes earlier so you have time to apply your night out make up for daytime because you is going to look as glittery and covered in red lipstick at work today as a princess.
10. Treat yo self to a Christmas candle that you can have flickering away whilst you cosy up under that Christmas duvet you’ve dragged downstairs to catch up on Scream Queens and Grey’s Anatomy on the sofa. Just FYI, Yankee Candle’s Christmas Cookie is such an absolute dreamy hunny of a scent.
11. Order some cute lil ribbons and strings from Etsy (or pick them up from your local hobby shop) so you can spend time making your presents look extra cute and pretty. Looking at the finished product will make your heart feel pleased.
12. Watch Christmas Films. You can snap them up for about £3 from Asda and Tesco (although Elf is a fiver), or Home Alone is now on Netflix. I can’t lie, I’ve watched them all twice in the last week or two…
13. Listen to the best old school Christmas tunes of all time. For Example, Destiny’s Child’s 8 Days Of Christmas album or Justin Bieber’s Under The Mistletoe. Just sayin’.
14. Get yourself to a local Christmas market or, if you’re close enough, treat yourself to a night of fairground rides and fairytale happiness at Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park.
15. Buy some coloured card, glitter and like, whatever else you think would look OMG SO BEAUTIFUL on a Christmas card and well, make Christmas cards. Send them in the post to your favourite people because let’s face it, everyone bloomin’ loves surprise post that’s not a sneaky £250 gas bill. Maybe throw in some chocolate coins to really make yourself feel like Mother Theresa.
16. Watch all the John Lewis Christmas adverts from the past few years, back to back. I mean yeah sure, you’ll probably need a good, stiff drink and box of tissues to go with them but whatevs.
17. Instead of eating a freakishly cold (just me?) and kinda bland supermarket Christmas sandwich, make your own. Whack in some sort of roast chicken and maybe some bacon and some grilled cheese and some cranberry sauce and maybe some stuffing. Y’know, just add in enough things that it stands taller than a Big Mac and feels like it shouldn’t work together but oh mumma, just does. Might need that whipped cream-topped coffee to stop yourself crashing into a bread snooze though…
18. Visit your local garden centre and do all the oohs and ahhs at the decoration displays. Think about spending £237 on outdoor lights, remember that you’re not a bazillionaire and walk away with a new bauble instead. (Or go to Liberty London’s Christmas Shop for a browse if you’re feeling fly.
19. Go through your wardrobe and fish out any unworn jumpers, coats, scarfs, gloves and hats and donate them to any local collections for homeless people. Totally free for you, and it’ll give you a boost way bigger than splashing out on yourself.
20. Force your pets into costumes and take photos until your camera roll has a breakdown and complains about a lack of storage. Then take them out of the costume and reward them with strokes for being an absolute brute of a parent.
21. And by far, the most important one. The only one that really, really matters. Spend time with your favourite people. Make so many plans you want to do a little tiredness weep to yourself. Surround yourself with your number ones and drink too much mulled wine, eat too much cheese, play too many games and do too many belly laughs. Christmas is only ace when you’re sharing it with other people <3
Help a girl out and lemme know your fave festive traditions…