I found it quite a shock to the system to find that the older I got the, err, less friends I got.
But there’s something quite reassuring about having a handful of firm favourites that you know you can rely on. Different people who basically own neat little sections of your heart, and different people who you give you fixes of different things. Like, imagine that each of your fave friends was a vital vitamin that your body needs. You need them ALL but in different doses and in different situations.
God I’m good at explaining. Lolz.
There’s the ones that’ll always text back when I’m like OH MY GOD I’M IN BED CRYING AND NOTHING IS WRONG AND IT’S MIDDAY, ones that are already scanning flights to the USA before I’ve finished saying that I fancy an adventure, and friends that always, always make time for wine and gossips with me.
Yep, I’m pretty happy with my people.
These are the gal pals you need in your life – the people that’ll stop you from going pure insane and falling down a hole of loneliness, regret and bad decisions. Ain’t they grand?
1. THE ONE THAT’LL HUMOUR YOU
The one who even when actually you’re kicking up a huge dramatic fuss about pretty much nada, will text you back within seconds and say exactly what you need to hear.
Everyone needs a friend that’ll make her feel less alone in her moment of need and happily schpiel out all of the following lines without even stopping to think about it: ‘she’s such a fucking bitch’, ‘why are people such idiots’, ‘you deserve so much better’, ‘he’s not worth it’ blahdy blahdy blah. You know the drill.
You need a pal that’ll let you get all the built up emotions and issues out of your system so that you can move on and be all sassy and happy again, even if it’s just at the end of a chain of iMessages rather than in real-life.
If you are this friend you are secretly one of the most needed yet under appreciated friends in the entire friendship world, just letting a sister know.
(I’m not this friend. My texting back skills are ahem, under-developed)
2. THE FUCK IT LET’S GET DRUNK FRIEND
You’ve lost your job or you’ve had an argument with your parents or that guy you like just got a girlfriend out of NOWHERE (like, he was probably texting you both at the same time and then chose her – so flippin’ bloody not cool), and you NEED to go out and forget about it and remember that you’re still a really bloomin’ hot functioning member of society.
This gal pal is there. You probably didn’t even suggest going out, she suggested it and she’s arrived at your house clad with a bottle of Prosecco and a couple of possible dress options for you to borrow just in case.
Heck, she’ll even lend you £30 if fuck, pay day is still a week away.
She’s got your back, she’ll move worlds just to make sure you can get as hammered as your heart needs and she is zero effort – there’s no questions about plans, no convincing or begging, she’s there and already ordering a round of tequila.
3. THE INDUSTRY FRIEND
You need yourself a nice little someone who’ll share professional advice with you and talk you through your career first world problems without pulling a THIS IS SO FUCKING BORING face.
Y’know the one I mean, you’ve seen the one I mean. People, eh?
You need someone to check you’re being treated right, being paid right, getting the right level of responsibility etc etc. Someone to compare your experience with – but ideally not someone who works in the same team as you because eeeek, not the dream situation for boss bitching.
Every gal needs someone who gets their work vibe – someone to bounce ideas off and draw professional strength and I GOT THIS from. They da best.
4. THE FRIEND WHO MAKES YOUR BELLY HURT
You might not see this person as much and they might be a bit harder to track down on the ol’ texting back front (soz to you all on behalf of fellow bad texter backers), but when you do see them you’re like OMG YOU MAKE MY SOUL SO HAPPY.
They bring snacks, they tell the best stories, they have the best ideas, they play the best games and they have the best gossip. Someone that when you’re with them literally makes your belly do squeals of pain from all the laughter, someone who fixes your mood instantly and lifts you up.
5. THE GOOD SHOPPING FRIEND
When I was younger and y’know, used to pop into town every bloody Saturday loaded with twenty quid for a McDonald’s and whatever I could find on the New Look sale rack, I always had favourite shopping friends.
It’s vital you find your shop-hopping soul mate.
I’m a once round the rails and *maybe* try one thing on kinda gal and I like my high street partner of crime to be of the same calibre.
Some gals can spend an entire hour in one shop and I’m like nah, ain’t got time for that. In, out, done, where’s my Starbucks at?
Find your shopping match and stick wit her fo lyf.
6. THE FRIEND THAT ALWAYS HAS MONEY AND TIME
Y’know how sometimes you’re just like FUCK THIS I NEED TO GET OUT THE HOUSE AND DO SUMMIN’ FUN.
You need a reliable gal pal who’s always like yes, let’s do dinner and wine – meet you in an hour?
She’s different to the party pal because well, she’s not so much about the partying, more about enjoying being a civilised grown-up and chatting and catching-up, and she’s not about helping you get over anything.
The sort of friend you don’t have to book two months in advance and the sorta gal who won’t say ‘I would, but I’m broke’ over and over again. You need her, she helps you actually live ya life.
7. THE FRIEND WHO REMINDS YOU HOW FAR YOU’VE COME
Y’know when you get in a lil ol’ sulk about not all that much and you feel like a failure because omg have you seen how successful everyone is on Instagram? That’s when you need one of your oldest gal pals to basically kick you into reality.
Sure, she’s great for nostalgic lolz about how drunk you got at 15, but she’ll also remind you of your darker times and how much you’ve grown as a person and HELLO, YOU ARE AN ADULT. YOU, SILLY LITTLE YOU, MADE IT TO ADULTHOOD and that’s bloody incredible.
She’ll give you strength when sometimes life feels too overwhelming to be strong. Whatta babe.
Now, who have I missed off the list? Which friend’s your fave, eh?