Admittedly, most of the rules I swear by are my own. Most of them I’ve taught myself by learning my from own mistakes, and trust me when I say that I’ve made a lot of them.
I was a bit of an, err, all-over-the-place teenager, and that carried on well into adulthood.
I’ve always been a bit shit with money, I’ve always run away from things I don’t like and I’ve always been obsessed with making people like me. Esepcially boys. Oh and confrontation basically makes me have an asthma attack and drink all the wine and cry a bit.
So I thought I’d share the important things other people have taught me, with you. The guidance that I find myself referring back to constantly. Whether it’s right or not is your opinion, but I like to believe they’ve helped me mature into the *almost* well-rounded individual I am today.
1. THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE EASY ONES
I remember when I was younger and relationships were crammed with so much drama. And it wasn’t just me either, it was everyone – if any of my friends were in a stable relationship then they were the odd one out and I do not remember them. AT ALL.
A good, healthy, strong relationship shouldn’t be filled with ‘does he like me?’ and ‘is he texting anyone else?’ and ‘why doesn’t he want to see me as much as I want to see him?’. It should be easy, it should be mutual.
It shouldn’t be dotted with break ups or near break ups or screaming matches or fiery arguments. It should be based on proper communication.
OMG I feel like such an old woman, someone pass a girl a Smirnoff Ice or summin.
But seriously, if you haven’t already read He’s Just Not That Into You, you should. It’s a perspective game-changer.
2. ALWAYS EAT SOMETHING AND HAVE A GLASS OF WATER BEFORE BED IF YOU’VE BEEN DRINKING
This was basically my own personal law during my binge drinking days of 2008. And my food of choice? Macaroni cheese and salt and vinegar crisps for dipping. No, but seriously.
It stops the morning queasiness, the morning headaches and 117% takes the edge off a hangover. It’s saved me so many times, and I notice the difference hugely if I don’t add something to my belly to soak up the excess liquid whilst I sleep.
Like, honestly, it’s the difference between spending the day silently sobbing between heaves in the bathroom, and comfortably enjoying my life.
Go for carbs, always.
3. NEVER DOUBLE TEXT A GUY
Naturally, this theory doesn’t alwaaaaays work, but most of the time it’s a go-er.
If you were the last one to text before bed, then leave it for him to start the conversation in the morning. It doesn’t exactly count as playing games, it just keeps you from looking a *bit* like you might propose to him the next time you see him IRL, and, for some weird and crazy unknown reason, they don’t like that.
Even if you actually think he might litz be the one after two days of texting, don’t let him know that because for some reason it freaks them out. It’s like at Easter when you get all the chocolate and then after a few bites you’re like ‘hey, you know what’s nice? Not eating chocolate.’
Let him have enough space to want to want you.
Oh, and don’t in your head justify it by being like ‘YEAAAAH, but if I leave it up to him to text first I could be waiting daaaaays or weeks. If I text first then I get to talk to him today.’
Stop being so damn attainable.
4. ALWAYS USE AN EXFOLIATING MITT, ESPECIALLY ON HOLIDAY
I always do a cruel, evil laugh to myself when pretty girls on Facebook are all like ‘ahhh no I’m peeling and my moisturiser won’t stop it’.
Babes. Babes. Just no.
You gotta use that £1 mitt from Boots every damn week, and when you’re on holiday you got to use it lightly every damn day. Otherwise your skin will overcook and then go crispy and want to peel away from your body.
It won’t stop you going a nice saucy bronze shade, but it will stop you forming sneaky white bubbles on your skin that peel away and make you look like you have a weird rash.
Use an exfoliating glove AND a shit tonne of moisturiser every day on holiday. And lots of sunscreen, obvs.
5. STOP TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE LIKE YOU
These wise words came courtesy of my step mum back in 2008 after a particularly rowdy house party where I was found hanging out with 10 boys, dun, dun, dun (because the girls had litz left about 3 minutes before me, and, guess what, I was FRIENDS with boys, uh huh).
The words, I believe, were said more in conjunction with not being a slut (which was assumed because of the whole 10 boys thing…), but still, it’s been something I refer back to daily.
I can’t please everyone, no-one can please everyone. Heck, Taylor Swift and J.K.Rowling can’t please everyone so who am I to try?
It’s a seriously helpful reminder when I’m worrying about whether you guys will get annoyed about two sponsored posts in a fortnight, or whether someone will kick off because I’ve posted a ‘negative’ post. You just gotta do your thing and stop worrying about what other people think.
6. HAVE A HOT BATH WHEN YOU HAVE CYSTITIS
If only teenage me had known this gem. If only.
One of my best pals at uni shared this incredible secret with me and it’s been my lifesaver ever since (although tbh, I’m currently A WHOLE YEAR since my last episode – can I have a high five over here? DO NOT JINX IT DO NOT JINX IT).
The heat from the bath is instantly soothing on your kidneys and bladder and everywhere that feels a bit like knives are attacking your private parts. And OMG IT IS SO NICE BEING ABLE TO DO LITTLE WEES. If you’ve had cystitis before you’ll get this. You can do wees that are only a drop long when you’re sitting in the bath, not so much when you’re sitting on the sofa.
For anyone that’s ever legit considered getting an adult nappy for cystitis, this is how to deal with it.
I once watched Grey’s Anatomy on my iPad at 5am from the bath for this very reason.
7. GO DOWN TO ONE DAY AT WORK A WEEK, STOP SEEING YOUR BOYFRIEND EVERY DAY AND CUT DOWN YOUR SOCIAL LIFE
The words uttered to me at parents evening by my tutor in year 13. Apparently if I didn’t do the above then I wouldn’t get into university and she was seriously worried about me. Cool story, bro.
This one’s important for a different reason. I ignored her.
I left the room crying, I rang my boyfriend, I moved in with him. I took on an extra shift a week at work and I spent time with my friends like my life depended on it.
I was 18 and seriously stubborn. I like it though because it reminds me that I am strong and I am capable, even when people don’t believe in me to do things my own way. I mean sure, it was probably the fact I seriously wanted to prove to everyone that I COULD do it my way that pushed me to achieve my place at university, but still, I nailed it.
Whenever I’ve made a rash decision – like handing in my notice at both IPC and Metro, I’ve thought back to this and remember that I can do anything. And if I can, then surely you can too?
8. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A HATER MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN YOU?
Whether you count success as physical things like a good job or a stable relationship or as happiness, this point is so true it actually pains me a little bit that I didn’t realise it at school.
Like for real, this is something that was sent to me by a few people when people were really kicking off online about me earlier this year and it just about fits with any negative situation – that girl that bitched about you at school, the friend who said things behind your back, and the people on Twitter who think they have a right to an opinion about you.
They’re never in a better place than you – mentally or physically, not ever.
When you turn around the way you look at people’s negativity it can actually make you feel pretty smug and empowered. You are doing so, so damn well. Go you. It’s no refrlection on you AT ALL. It’s all about their downfalls.
9. YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE WHO HAS A NEGATIVE IMPACT
Even if you’re related to them.
Some will feel the opposite to this, but it was one of the wisest and most soothing things I heard in an hour of need from one of my close friends. Thanks, Tilly, you scamp.
But seriously, anyone who fills you with all the negative feels doesn’t HAVE to be in your life. You don’t have to make room for them if it’s bringing you unnecessary drama and hurt. You have to come first, because you are important.
You can feel guilty for leaving people behind, but, when it all comes down to it, you have to do what makes your head happier and healthier in the long run. You gotta do you.
10. EVERYTHING CHANGES IN A DAY
I think I’ve relayed this info back about 78564766 times on this blog, and i’ve ended on it because it’s an all-time fave.
I think I was in an anxious and emotional mood over a boy when the words were fust uttered by one of my gal pals. And it probably came alongside a takeaway, documentary, and a lot of sofa time. But I think about it all the time and whenever I’m stressed about anything – like a sponsored post or some bad feedback, I remember it and I remember that the moment will pass.
Because everything passes and everything changes and you forget the moments that filled you with turmoil, sadness and dread. You do.
Each day brings with it the possibilities and opportunities to meet new people and have things happen that can change your life in an instant.
So try not to dwell or get caught up in how painful or soul-destroying a moment or an hour or a day or a week is, because time will take that emotion away from you eventually.