36 things that were only a good idea in year 7


1. Spending an entire substitute lesson drawing an I <3 (insert initials here) on your hand in a variety of different coloured and scented gel pens. Then hoping that your crush would spy your beautiful new tattoo in the canteen during lunch break and ask you out. OH MY GOD A BOYFRIEND.

2. Wearing pedal pushers on every school trip, you classy babe. Ideally they’d be ones you customised yourself using the latest issue of Elle Girl.

3. Coming home from school and making yourself a pint of strawberry Nesquik and teaming it with a caramel Rocky. You’re a growing girl after all.

4. Begging your mum to let you paint your bedroom sexy pink and put some Chinese symbol stencils up.

5. Being obsessed with anything Winnie The Pooh or Forever Friends. Especially if it was a journal or cuddly toy. So cute.

6. Carrying at least three pearly pink lip glosses in your tiny handbag that came free with your mum’s magazine at all times. You needed to ensure your lips were kissable, obvs.

7. Wearing Skechers trainers with pretty much every outfit and buying the sparkliest pair you could find.

8. Having this fear that every single time you had a period something ‘cringe-worthy’ would happen. Yeah, thanks Shout mag for that innate fear Sob.

9. Painting your nails metallic turquoise like the ocean.

10. Asking for a pink diamante Playboy bunny necklace from the Argos catalogue for Christmas and having no idea what it represented. Just a cute bunny with a bow tie, right?

11. Getting your friends to ring your crush’s house phone to discuss whether or not he liked you. Wetting yourself with fear whilst you listened in on a different telephone and trying not to breathe too heavily otherwise he’d know you were there.

12. Stealing your mum’s tweezers, tweezing pretty much every hair off your face including the majority of your eyebrows. Attempting to tweeze no hairs, realising this isn’t a thing. Crying.

13. Spending most of your week planning a Saturday morning swimming trip. Being unsure which of your extensive tankini collection you should wear.

14. Having an obsession with beads and shops that sold beads. Adding beads, especially star-shaped ones, wherever you could – your shoe laces, hair and school bag included. Cute.

15. Wanting to have glossy perfect hair like Atomic Kitten and attempting to dye your hair at home. Ending up with hair that looked a similar shade to the amber light on traffic lights. Getting bullied by 97% of boys at school the next day. Life.

16. Reading Jacqueline Wilson’s ‘Girls’ books and feeling like a rebellious teenager that was well grown-up.

17. Pretty much only wearing clothes from Tammy Girl, 915 and MK One.

18. Relying on magazine flow charts to help you define yourself, your style, your mood and your future. Were you a girlie girl, shopping queen or tomboy?

19. Every birthday being celebrated with a girls sleepover that involved peel off face masks, sleeping bags and playing Chubby Bunnies.

20. Ensuring your school pencil case was fully equipped with at least 15 pens in different colours, 3 different shaped protractors, a compass and a Tip Ex at all times.

21. Being obsessed with cute tops shaped like bandanas. That triangle shaped top showing off your puppy fat and inflated nipples was damn sassy.

22. Spending the entire time from walking in from school and going to bed in front of the TV watching Nickelodeon. Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Saved By The Bell, Kenan and Kel, come at me.

23.¬†Watching the naughty kids put their pens in the Bunsen burner and melting them but being too scared to join in because you could not handle having a detention. You weren’t built for this crazy shit.

24. Sometimes just spending 20 minutes putting all your NOW CDs in order, because you were so proud of how many you’d collected without missing any.

25. Reading your horoscope religiously and adoring anything that said ‘typical Virgo’ on it (or, y’know, your star sign).

26. Feeling like you might actually burst with excitement when your Nan asked if you wanted a sip of her wine on Christmas day. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I’M A GROWN UP NOW.

27. Watching Coyote Ugly, Saved The Last Dance and Legally Blonde pretty much on repeat.

28. Dressing like you were going to a school disco on non-uniform day in the hope that it might make boys fancy you.

29. Having a make-up collection that was almost entirely made up of freebies from magazines and the Lip Smackers stall in Superdrug.

30. Spending ages pouring over the different Bubblegum cards every time it was someone’s birthday. Were they a diamond geezer or blonde bombshell? Who knew.

31. Wearing your denim jacket over the top of pretty much every outfit no matter what the whether was.

32. Using Impulse as deodorant because it pretty much looked the same just smelt way sassier.

33. Wishing you could have a bath bomb in pretty much every bath. SO MUCH FUN.

34. Not being sure your Mum would say yes if you asked to borrow her razor to shave your legs, so using it without permission. Drying it with a towel and placing it back exactly as you’d found it so she’d never suspect a thing.

35. Eating crispy pancakes, kievs, potato waffles, smiley faces, microwave chips and bacon and cheese grills for the majority of your dinners because YUM.

36. Wearing bras in size 28AA because you were definitely going through puberty and this proved it.


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