What comes first in your life? Career, friends or settling down?


We’re all brought up with a clear idea in our minds about what to focus on when we finish school. For many of us it’s further education, we’ll get our A-levels, trot off to university and begin building ourselves some sort of mega career. The sort of career that will make our parents proud, make our grandparents boast about us to their church friends, and make other people just feel a tiny smidgen jealous.

For other people maybe it’s falling in love and settling down or going off to explore the world, or maybe it’s just finding happiness. Everyday happiness.

But I want to know what you prioritise, what things you feel are most important in your twenties, and, if they’re different, what you feel society and your parents say you should prioritise.

I know I certainly felt like a degree and a successful job was my only option, like i’d be letting myself down if I settled for a less pretty-on-paper job, and decided to settle down and have a baby earlier. But then maybe that’s just me.

I think there’s a difference between what we feel like we should be putting first and deep, deep down what we want to put first. I feel like society pressurises us to live our life a certain way – maybe it’s because of the overwhelming part social media and the ability to constantly compare ourselves to our peers plays in our every day lives, maybe it’s the knowing that generations of women before us fought for us to be able to have the options we now do, and maybe it’s because honestly, deep down, we’re worried about what other people think of us.

I’ve got my career now, but when I look back at the diaries I kept during uni, there were so many entries where I wrote about quitting it all and moving home and settling down and following a different life path, where I was constantly questioning whether I should have stayed in Sussex and settled down with my then-boyfriend. Obvs, I shouldn’t have, but it was something that went through my brain constantly, whether i’d made the right decision for my future.

Because once you’ve got that degree it feels like you can’t turn back and settle down at home, you have to keep moving forward with education and jobs and clever things that sound so damned brilliant to say out loud.

But what do you think?

I’ve put together another speedy survey, with the hope that, once again, you will prove that we’re all basically the same person, just living life and feeling like it’s just us thinking the things we do.

I feel sad that i’ve written this post and there’s not one funny quip nestled in it. I’M SORRY GUYS, REAL SORRY.

But yeah, do my survey and help a girl out, will you?

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