Because now? Now you’re just too damn old to do anything fun. Except play Scrabble and drink red wine, obvs.
1. Getting cute little tattoos of things like hearts, stars and Chinese symbols. N’aww.
2. Meeting boys in your car at midnight on school nights. You out of control slut, you.
3. Foam parties. Just foam, err’where. Who cares if it ruins your clothes and leaves you looking like a drowned rat, eh?
4. Doing five MAD Apple Sourz shots in a row, because you are an absolute machine. Ain’t nobody stopping you.
5. Eating McDonald’s twice in one day, because that metabolism? It can handle anything.
6. Wearing pashmina scarves with every outfit. So sassy.
7. Putting ginormous fake flowers in your hair next to your ear. It made you look like you were on holiday always, OK?
8. Wearing ‘T-strings’ from Topshop. Because everyone knows G-strings have far too much fabric going on – how’s anyone supposed to fancy you with one of those?
9. Drinking Malibu from the bottle. Because Malibu is a cool grown-up drink, obvs.
10. Staying up all night at a house party and trotting straight off to an 8-hour shift at your Saturday job with no sleep. Because you’ll sleep when you’re dead right?
11. Balancing two VKs in your hand on a night out as you boogie about to Neyo’s Closer.
12. Wearing waist coats. Just, wearing waist coats.
13. Buying a Primark handbag and using it every day until it snapped or was basically just a worn away raggy net. Cute.
14. Believing pearly pink lipgloss was the only shade you’d ever really need.
15. Always ‘going blonder’ at the hairdressers. Because you wanted more highlights than EVERYONE.
16. Only eating Ryvita or soup before a night out so that you could stay skinny AND get drunk quickly. Good one.
17. Wearing cute little Alice bands with bows on to sixth form.
18. Taking selfies of yourself in your bra. Because, hey, you needed boys to know that under that mini dress you were a damn hottie.
19. Having mousey coloured, barely-there eyebrows. Everyone knows liquid eyeliner is way more important than say, an eyebrow pencil.
20. Having two hairstyle options – straightened for 20 minutes, or curled into ringlets.
21. A Bank Holiday weekend meaning three solid nights of drinking – preferably in a club whilst grinding with your gal pals.
22. Wearing leggings with pretty much every outfit always. Before the world admitted they were all see-through.
23. Having a set of dice swinging about in your car, maybe a diamante tax disc holder too.
24. Taking about 102 photos on one night out and uploading them into a new Facebook album every single time. Which was about twice a week.
25. Wearing your hair with a sweeping fringe that always split into greasy strands about two minutes after leaving the house.
26. Ordering copious pitchers of WooWoo when in Wetherspoons, because mmmm alcohol yummy and cranberry juice is sorta healthy, right?
27. Wearing a stack of beaded bracelets and Primark bangles on each wrist at all times. Because, fashion.
28. Thinking it was really funny to try and hit 100mph on the motorway, because you are wild and fast and living the dream.
29. Wearing a ginormous waist belt with a pretty clasp just under your boobs with 87% of your outfits.
30. Ordering 40 photos for free online and then plaster them all around your bedroom with blue tac.
31. Drunk texting, Facebook messaging and ringing boys who definitely didn’t want you to. BUT FANCY ME BECAUSE I’M DRUNK AND FUN.
32. Squatting right down on the floor when dancing to Flo Rida’s Low in a club. Because you are sexy, so flipping sexy.
33. Having Ann Summers parties and buying vibrators and playing dress up in nurse costumes.
34. Repeatedly saying ‘we are SO old now. We’re 18. Like, how fucking old is that?’
Oh, youth <3
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