1. Being unsure whether you had enough hair mascara or hair glitter on to pull at the school disco.
2. Or whether you should wear your lilac flared trousers or denim mini skirt to said disco.
3. Trying to win chubby bunnies at a sleepover.
4. Trying to convince your friend’s mum that no, your parents wouldn’t give a toss if you watched a 15-rated movie at their house because they’re not FLIPPING MANIACS.
5. Your crush spotting the I heart <insert initials here> on your hand and being mortified that he knew how deeply in love with him you were.
6. Trying to convince your mum to let you buy the thongs from Tammy Girl that said things like ‘Sporty Chick’ and ‘Boy Obsessed’.
7. Being unsure of how any woman was supposed to cope with a waterfall of blood flowing out of their vagina for a whole week every month. Periods sound menacing.
8. Being too scared to question the new lumps that had formed under your nipples. Were they normal or did you have breast cancer?
9. Trying to decide whether to watch Sabrina The Teenage Witch on Nickledeon, Goosebumps on Fox Kids or That’s So Raven on Disney Channel. What a palava.
10. Telling your mum that nothing bad could possibly happen if she agreed to buy you that pack of pineapple Bacardi Breezers. BUT PLEASE, I’M DEFS GROWN UP ENOUGH.
11. Not understanding the customization instructions in Elle Girl and only realising once you’d already cut up one of your top,s FFS.
12. The horror of the library not having a Jacqueline Wilson or Georgia Nicolson book available for loan.
13. Trying to decide whether you should wear a tankini on that school swimming trip.
14. Thinking up ways to get out of your PE lesson when it was hockey. Who wants to run around in Arctic weather conditions hunched over until you get the sorest back EVER?
15. Being way better at your dance mat when no-one else was watching. The sheer embarrassment.
16. Getting your Sugar magazine home only to find some absolute hoodlum had already opened the packet it was in and stolen the free glitter nail varnish. Fuming.
17. Not fully understanding any of the jokes in Austin Powers. But that Fat Bastard character being semi-funny.
18. Being unable to track down any clothes anywhere near as nice as Mary-Kate’s and Ashley’s in the UK.
19. Not quite understanding how a girl was supposed to apply blue eye shadow without looking a bit OTT.
20. Not having your crushes home phone number and not being able to get your friend’s to ring him and ask if he liked you during a sleepover.
21. Having no pages left in your school planner because you’d done so many love calculators in there.
22. Secretly still wanting to like Pokemon at secondary school but being unsure if it was considered cool in any way.
23. Secretly fancying Reese from Malcolm in the Middle, and Tucker from Tucker, and not being able to tell anyone.
24. Pretending you found South Park funny because everyone else did.
25. Really wanting to make a Fortune Teller with your friends, but not being good enough at Origami.
26. Deciding which Nokia 3310 phone cover from Tesco would make you popular.
27. Then trying to add said phone case to your parent’s weekly shop without them noticing. Along with a baby pink nail varnish, clear mascara and the new Shrek DVD.
28. Not getting the mini Beanie Baby toy you wanted in your Happy Meal.
29. Begging your mum that you were old enough to go to the hairdressers and get thick blonde highlights put through your hair.
30. Your purple shimmer gel pen smudging all over the page of your diary that you’d just finished writing. The horror.
31. Trying to decide whether you should buy a Roxy or Quicksilver rucksack for school.
32. Really wanting a Bratz doll but not being sure if you were too old for one.
33. Eyeing up all the dangly glittering pink belly bars in the Argos catalogue and hoping that soon your mum would change her mind and you’d be allowed to get your belly button pierced.
34. Wanting to have Crispy Pancakes filled with cheese, Chicago Town microwave pizza and potato waffles for dinner pretty much every day.
35. Praying that for your next birthday you’d be surprised with a trip to New York like they do in films, because you definitely deserve it.
36. Just wanting to hurry up and be a grown-up already and have everyone stop treating you like a kid, because you are WAY more mature than everyone gives you credit for. Idiots.
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