Over two years ago I wrote a blog post in which I did a Rachel from Friends – I counted back from the age I wanted to have kids to work out how old I needed to be when I met my boyfriend and got married.
Naturally, it freaked me out a bit and made me question my habit of forward planning everything.
I wanted to have a baby by 27. In fact I very much still do. I WANT to be a young-ish mum, but if my calculations are to be believed, I should be getting engaged within the next year.
When i’d originally written that post, my career hadn’t taken off and I had planned to grow a successful career, get married and have a baby in a very ambitious five years. I’m incredibly lucky that even one of those things has happened since – there aren’t many 24-year-olds lucky enough to say they’ve reached their career peak so early. But, despite this, I still feel as though time is against me.
Although i’m prepared to take a step back from my original plan, I can still feel an overwhelming pressure to get a bloody move on.
I don’t want to rush my relationship, I don’t want to ruin it, and yet the idea that this relationship might not work (even though i’m obvs reaaaaaaally happy right now) and I might have to start again on my quest to succeed in my life goals before I hit 30 is terrifying.
It feels as though we are truly the first generation to feel as incredibly torn between settling down and running the world as we do. Jump back to our mum’s generation and even then there wasn’t the same level of females in university, let alone the WOMEN CAN BE ANYTHING THEY WANT mantra we’re brought up with now.
But where will we draw the line? When will people, aside from Kirstie Allsop, say, you know what? Yes you can have the world and be anything you want, but you don’t have to squeeze your entire life into your twenties, you can save some for your thirtes, forties, fifties, hell we won’t retire til well into our sixties.
Step away from the aggressive life plan and just do what feels right for you. Even if that means backing away from your career to go make some babies…
And, if like me, you feel like the baby-making years are creeping forward at an alarming rate, it’s OK, your fertility will probably still be the same at 29 as 27.
(Note: Not really, it’ll have probs declined by about 2 per cent, but hey, what’s two per cent really?)