My life sounds absolutely blinking fantastic on paper. I live on my own in a Victorian converted flat in East London, with a beautiful cat, work(ed) on three of the biggest fashion titles in the UK, have an amazing boyfriend and equally amazing group of friends, and, anyone who closely follows my social media will know that my life consists of champagne, free clothes, holidays and meeting celebrities. A-fricking-mazing, right?
Am I happy?
What’s worrying is that a lot of my friends, actual friends and not distant acquaintances, are comparing themselves to me. Comparing themselves to my life on paper, comparing themselves to my life on social media, and assuming that that is me. That i am living some sparkly, happy, glossy life. I’m not.
When are we going to give up the destructive game of comparing ourselves to people’s online lives, eh? When are we going to realise that it is, in effect, an almost entirely fictional character we are comparing ourselves to?
When will we learn that the versions of ourselves that we post on social media, are very heavily edited versions of our lives? And everyone else’s is the same?
My Instagram posts show champagne by the river, walks in NYC and beautiful new shoes, not tears in bed because of how much I hate my job, the beans on toast I have to eat to afford to live where I do, and how permanently exhausted I am from attempting to balance my work and social life. You see none of the hard times, and trust me, they are frequent. Remember, that for every glossy incredible photo of something happy that someone posts, there’s an equally unhappy moment they haven’t shared with you.
My happiest moments of the past year haven’t been possessions, or work successes, they’ve been waking up with my cat asleep next to me, spending entire days playing games with my brothers and best friends, and drinking red wine in bed with my boyfriend. Moments with the people that mean the most to me.
We need to stop striding for a life that makes people envious; the cars, beaches, clothes and skinny bodies and spend more time thinking about what truly makes us happy.
I’ve gone freelance because I want to have more time for the people that bring out the best in me, and spend less time focusing on the freebies, the career and being a fashion girl. Because if I was to just have those three things and none of the people I would be entirely miserable all of the time.
It is time to drop the comparisons and low self-esteem and think about what we ACTUALLY want, because those are the things we will be grateful for when we are on our death beds. Those irreplaceable moments doing things that make your belly feel like its full of sunshine and rainbows are the only thing that matter. Ever.