10 Amazing Things Overheard In My Office

Am I allowed to say in the LOOK office, does that make people sound bad? Is that illegal? Anyway, yeah, we’re funny. To celebrate the fact I’ve been here a year now (I know, I haven’t irritated people enough or come in hungover enough to be sacked yet – hoorah!) i thought i’d share my ten fave overheard quotes.

It’s kinda like a nod to More! too, I for one am going to miss Men Overheard dearly. Although i’m not quite sure i’ll ever get over my hilarious Magaluf quote not being printed. What’s not to love about a group of chavs discussing whether Dumbledore or Merlin was greater whilst drunk at 5am?

Anyway, shoot…

1. “If I had to sit and watch all three of you wear flat caps for a day I literally think i’d have a fit.” Said, after a boy wore a flat cap near a fashion girl and thought it was ok. Ok, yeah in 1952 if you’re shooting pheasants.

2.“Do you know the closest place to buy underwear from? I’m not wearing any pants.” There’s just no explanation necessary. It just involved a hotel stay.

3. “Err have you ever had herpes? I think I have it… Oh wait no, I squeezed it, it’s a spot”

4. “His penis is HUGE, like the biggest i’ve ever seen. It scared me.” Girl talk to the greatest most stereotypical degree.

5. “You’re going to sleep with him. In fact i’m going to write it down on a piece of paper so that way I can prove that I knew it was going to happen before anyone else.” Aren’t meetings with bosses the best, eh?

6. “A woman next to me on the train was having phone sex this morning. I could hear the man on the other end of the line…” Ah London, the greatest city on earth.

7. “You know how when Kesha’s in a bikini and she looks like a cereal box? Yeah, you don’t want to look like that.” It’s true, people that work in fashion can be bitches, but hey, at least we’re funny about it…

8. “I’ve got a complaint. Someone’s been weeing on the seats in the toilet again and it’s gross. It’s yellow so they’re obviously not drinking enough water – at least I know it’s not you”. The culprit has since been found and the results are pretty shocking…

9. “You love taxes?” “I don’t love taxes, I just think they’re really important” Said by the one person not crying at their payslip about how unjust the world is.

10. “I once had sex with three men in the space of 24 hours just so I could decide which one i wanted to go out with.” This was said as a piece of advice.

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