Something seems to have shifted in the blogging world of late.
And it’s not the Instagram algorithm, nor the increase in newsletter and podcast launches. It’s not the ever-growing standard of photography and it’s not the fact more and more brands have developed influencer budgets.
No, gals and guys, it’s the general hatred we seem to have developed for one another.
And not just that, but the fact we seem to feel the need to openly acknowledge via social media just how freaking annoying we find one another.
I seemingly can’t log on to Twitter without ‘I can’t stand when bloggers do xxx’ or ‘It winds me up when bloggers do xxx’.
Now, don’t think for one minute I’m going to preach on at you about how WE MUST ALL SUPPORT AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Because that is utter bull crap.
You support and champion who you like, you raise up the people you think deserve it, because heaven forbid I ain’t got enough energy to be all OMG GREAT POST YOU DA BEST HUN at every person whose blog I read. Shock horror, but I’m not doing a standard ovation at every little thing I read – the same way I know you’re not.
But – and here’s the big but – the people we don’t necessarily like? And the people we don’t necessarily agree with? And the people who for some bizarre reason have the ability wind us up until we’re screaming about them to our boyfriends/girlfriends/sisters/colleagues?
We don’t actually have to follow them.
I know, bombshell.
But we don’t. We do it because we’re addicted to the hate-follow, these people intrigue us and obsesses us, despite the fact they likely have no idea. They cast this negative spell over our daily moods and they rile us up, just by living their lives the way they want to.
And they cause us to lose touch with reality – to lose touch with a reality that says we don’t actually have to follow them or put up with the things we don’t want to see. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my lifetime, it’s that it’s OK to walk away from people that ruin a perfectly wonderful day.
It’s OK to put you first. It’s OK to not like everyone. And it’s more than OK to get the hell out of there.
In fact, it’s vital that you do get the hell out of there.
Regardless of whether that’s a partner or a friend or a family member, or, well… another blogger.
What’s not OK is to go on despising them from afar, to work yourself up over every little thing they do, to become a slave to your own negative emotions.
Earlier this year, I wrote this post about the importance of unfollowing, and I stand by it. I have, rather unashamedly become a ruthless unfollower across all social media platforms.
And it’s not because I’m some hideous bitch of the internet (although my sister did tell me to stop being such a sassy bitch last week, so y’know, maybe I am some hideous bitch of the internet), it’s because I really, really value my mind and my sanity.
I used to find myself getting easily wound up by other digital content creators.
SHE CALLS HERSELF A BLOGGER BUT SHE ONLY POSTS ONCE EVERY FEW MONTHS. SHE’S BOUGHT ALL HER FOLLOWERS AND NOW SHE’S IN FUCKING HAWAII. WHY DOES ALL HER CONTENT LOOK LIKE IT’S STRAIGHT FROM A MAGAZINE, DOESN’T SHE KNOW THERE’S A REASON MAGAZINES HAVE DECLINING CIRCULATIONS?
And so on, and so on.
And then I was like LOL, why am I wasting so much of my head space focusing on what other people are up to? Why do I give a shit? It doesn’t take away from what I’m doing. If anything, it clutters up the brain power I could be dedicating to ooh, I dunno, brainstorming some of my own killer ideas. To taking over the world. To living my best life.
So I unfollowed them and I muted them and I essentially did the online version of walking away from them.
And this isn’t about them, it’s about me. It’s about my own insecurities, and my own damn right stubbornness that I’m always right, despite the fact that guess what? Sometimes I’m not.
You cannot control what other people are going to do, no matter how hard you try. You are the only person who controls you, and they are the only person who controls them.
But you can control, to some extent, who you surround yourself with – both in real life and in the digital world.
So do it. Utilise that power. Become your own gatekeeper to everything you expose yourself to.
Oh and just a casual reminder that every time you tweet something indirect about another blogger? There’s a 100 people sat on their phones going OMG IS THIS ABOUT ME? I BET IT’S ABOUT ME? WHY AM I SO AWFUL AND WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME, even though guess what? It’s not about them.
It’s OK to unfollow and it’s OK to create social media feeds that don’t make you angry. There’s enough horrible shit going on in the world, why make yourself feel worse than you need to?