One of the first things I said to Chris after I’d told him I was pregnant and asked if he needed to sit down, was that I really, really wanted to go to the supermarket.
Partly for snacks (because always snacks) but also because I felt like I needed to make the whole thing feel a bit more real. And what better to do that than by snapping up things that have words like ‘MATERNITY’ and ‘PREGNANCY’ emblazoned across the front?
Naturally the first thing on my shopping list was one of those fancy pants digital Clear Blue pregnancy tests that a) cost as much as three bottles of wine and b) actually confirm you’re pregnant with words rather than you having to try and decipher some code with lines.
And guys, like, I don’t want to alarm you, but it said I was pregnant. Four to five weeks pregnant, to be precise.
I’ve had a ginormous over-the-top girl crush on Clemmie Hooper (AKA Mother Of Daughters) since sometime last year when I discovered her Instagram account. Chris has a matching crush on her Father Of Daughters, so that’s cute.
Anyway, it was a no brainer that I was going to arm myself with her pregnancy bible the minute I had my very own cretin growing within – and I’m not ashamed to admit I’d read the thing front to back within about 48 hours.
It’s a useful guide for every step in your pregnancy and makes you feel like you’re chatting it over with a mate, rather than studying for your science GCSE, which is just aces. Oh and spoiler: Clemmie’s a trained midwife so she knows her shit.
I’ll be completely frank with you here – I have absolutely no idea if there’s a type of pregnancy vitamin that’s better than another pregnancy vitamin, I just chose whatever was on offer. Which just so happened to be the Seven Seas range.
Most brands also do a pre-conception variety that you can obvs take whilst trying for a baby to make sure your body is rammed full of all the good stuff before the baby starts growing, but alas I didn’t do this (but maybe that’s for a future post about deciding, ahem, when to have a baby).
My boobs shot up a wonderful three cup sizes in about as many weeks, and in doing so, not only outgrew my bra collection, but caused me a lot of discomfort.
Cue me sleeping in sports bras and still waking up every hour during the night. Honestly, these planet-sized things attached to my chest should probably start paying council tax or summin’.
Anyway, I got myself down to Marks & Spencer when I was around seven weeks pregnant (it felt too early and I felt like a right chip stick, but whatever) and snapped up two maternity bras – one in white and one in black.
They’re the boob version of throwing on a pair of trackie bottoms when you’ve been living in jeans. SO MUCH COMFORT. But also, the ones I got come with a lot of padding (probably so that if you knock your boob you don’t yelp in pain), so made my boobs look even bigger. Joyous.
I have no idea at what stage you’re supposed to start applying stretch mark cream or even if it works or where you’re supposed to put it, but I ran out and picked up a new bottle of good ol’ Palmer’s Cocoa Butter because it seemed like a sensible thing to do (and I like the smell).
I’ve been smothering it across my boobs, my belly, my back fat, my thighs and like the top of my lady parts (because that appears to be where the bump starts growing from – who knew, eh?).