It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
If you didn’t sing that line as you read it then are you even a real person?
No but really, Christmas is sexier and sassier and more full of glitter and hugs and sunshine than an Instagram star, and here’s my list of the 21 things that make it just so darn perfect <3
1. Taking the box of crimbo decorations out of the loft, and pulling each bauble out one-by-one as though opening a new ASOS order. Exclaiming ‘OMG I FORGOT WE HAD THIS ONE’ at approximately 82%of them.
2. Eating Quality Street at 10am without giving two turtle doves about the calories because you a bad bitch who loves Christmas and ain’t no saturated fat going to stand in your way to Christmas cheer.
3. Decorating the tree, turning off the main lights and turning on your fairy lights and staring at it like it’s a newborn baby you’ve carried in your womb for nine months because sweet diggity, isn’t she a beaut?
4. Instagramming your tree, your wreath, your Christmas candle collection, your festive socks, your homemade mince pies, a fave bauble of yours, your v Pinterest wrapping and anything else that proves you’re 102% related to the Claus family.
5. Settling down on the sofa after a v long day, ambling through the TV listings and HELLO LOVE ACTUALLY IS ON IN THREE MINUTES.
6. Putting fresh Christmas duvet covers on your bed and sliding into last year’s festive PJs and feeling like no harm can come your way because have you seen yourself? You’ve basically got a Christmas force field going on.
7. Waking up every morning, making yourself a cuppa and having a little square of chocolate to go with it because it’s v important you count down the days to Christmas. Why don’t we have advent calendars all year round, again?
8. Seeing the ‘Holidays Are Coming’ advert on TV for the first time and feeling happiness and magic rising from the depths of your belly because IT’S HERE, IT’S HERE.
9. Strolling up and down the Christmas aisle at Tesco every time you do a weekly shop from about September 4th onewards and never buying anything. But awww Lindt chocolate and awww panettone and awww stollen.
10. Lighting a Christmas-scented candle and pretending that there’s nothing you love more than the smell of cinnamon-drenched biscuits baking in your house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
11. Deciding to wear a sequin top out the house on a Monday morning because it’s impossible to be over-dressed in December and you need to squeeze in all 647563 items of your party wardrobe into 31 days.
12. Someone bringing mince pies into the office and whaddya know you’ve eaten three for lunch.
13. Getting to that bit, approximately four fifths of the way through, in every Christmas film when a broken family comes together again and everything is right with the world <3
14. Treading barefoot on a pine needle and pretending it doesn’t hurt more than a tiger trying to amputate your leg because it’s Christmas and Christmas would never do anything to hurt you.
15. Going back to your parent’s house for Christmas and being treated to a full fridge, constant cups of tea and central heating that’s ALWAYS on because they haven’t sacrificed heating so that maybe they can afford a holiday next year…
16. Playing the ‘uh, do I really have to wear this?’ game when someone says you have to wear your paper hat out of the cracker even though deep down you know it’s the classiest fashion accessory you’ve sported all year.
17. Walking into your kitchen on Christmas day and being smacked in the face with the overwhelming scent of roast turkey and roast potatoes. Hubba hubba.
18. Admiring how divine the lounge looks in those few seconds after every single present has been opened and no-one’s run off for a bin bag for the rubbish yet. It looks so cute when you can’t see the actual floor because of the mountain of mismatched wrapping paper, right?
19. Starting an argument with your brother because you’re about 22% sure he stole a £500 note from the bank and spent it on hotels for his properties and now you’re about to lose Monopoly because you landed on his damn space. FFS.
20. Eating seven different types of cheese within an hour because ain’t no cheeseboard like a December 25th cheeseboard.
21. That moment, some time after Christmas dinner when you look around and everyone’s v close to passing out from overeating, crumpled into various sofas and armchairs and your heart is all <3<3<3 and THEN someone asks if you want a cup of tea. Corr blimey is this what heaven feels like?
What else do you guys love about Christmas?