You know me, pal, I like a list.
I like a to-do list, I like a relatable lol-to-read list, I like lists of goals, lists of places to eat, shopping lists, cocktail lists and so obvs, I was always going to love an ultimate life goal list.
Like yes alright pipe down, I totally get that maybe by doing this I’m taking the fun and spontaneity and sense of adventure out of my life, but it’s nice to dream and to remember where the world could take you if you just pushed yourself a little harder. If you just stepped out of your comfort zone, took risks, faced fears and accepted challenges, you could have everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
So here’s a personal list for days when the sofa and Dumbledore seem like the only answer. A list to motivate and inspire and to stand as a reminder that ridiculously bright and shiny and OMG MUCH HAPPINESS things are just around the corner if only you keep on moving forward.
I would like to go to Bali. I know, wild. Ground-breaking. So unique and original of me. But mostly I’d like to go to Bali with Chris. I had such an intense and incredible time in Thailand with my Gale siblings earlier this year and I want to share that with him, I want him to understand and have his own piece of the adventure. I want to show him the world, a different world. I want to drink beach cocktails and eat noodles and just forget about our world, our minds, our pasts and our futures. I want to just be.
2. KITCHEN ISLAND
This isn’t the name of some cool, off-the-beaten-track island that was made for Instagram porn, it is in fact just me referring to a kitchen island. Y’know, those places for food preparation rich-ish people have in the middle of their large kitchens? I want one, in my dream home, like really, really badly.
Mostly as a place to drink red wine and chop herbs to use in dinner recipes from Jamie Oliver’s books. Oh man, the absolute dream. Right, right?
I feel like children of divorce either head off in one of two ways – they either freak over marriage and declare it’s not for them, or they pine after a solid marriage, a marriage that doesn’t ahem, follow the mistakes of the older generation. And I guess I’m the latter, I so want to get married, but at the same time I’m not in any rush.
I’m also not entirely sold on the big white £30,000 wedding. I look at all the other things I would rather spend that money on, cough Bali and a kitchen island, and I’m like just bring me pizza, an ASOS wedding dress, some Tesco prosecco, some £2 fairy lights from B&M, all of my fave people and I’m good to go.
4. WRITE A BOOK
You’re probably bored of me harping on about this, but my book-writing obsession comes in weird waves.
If I read someone else’s memoir I feel possessed, utterly possessed by the idea that I must write my own. I have chapter outlines and two book proposals and about 10 chapters saved on my old laptop but I’m not convinced by any of it. But finding time and inspiration to write book material is SO much harder than writing blog posts. I have so much to say, so many stories to tell, so many thoughts and ideas whirling around my brain. Tales about love and depression and feeling broken and feeling lost. Tales about the internet and growing up and feeling lonely, about losing friends, and about parents and siblings. They’ll be told, one day.
If someone could send me an envelope of glitter and motivation in the post, that’d be dandy.
I mean, I’m not saying I’d like to get into bird-watching and bee-keeping and spending every evening pruning my plants, but I’d like to have a garden that doesn’t look like no-one’s lived in our house for a century.
I want a place that has beaming peonies and hydrangeas and roses every summer, and maybe a hefty barbecue, a place that was made for food and drinks shared with friends and family <3
6. WEST COAST
Another travel cliche but something I’m totally despo to do is a road trip along the West Coast of the States.
We’re currently saving to do this next summer as a way of celebrating the end of Chris’s five-years of part-time studying for a degree. Oh and the degree obvs.
The plan is to cover LA, Vegas (which I’m sure will be 102% better with Chris and not just spent sitting on my own in my room watching One Tree Hill and eating Chipotle) and of course – San Francisco. Oh and ideally Yosemite too. So yeah, any recommendations would be much appreciated.
I want three. I think. I dunno. I’m convinced I’ll only have boys, but in a dream world I’d have a mix.
I’m one of five, although my two older brothers never lived with us and I loved there being three of us all super close in age to build dens and play N64 and hide and seek and generally annoy each other.
I want them sooner rather than later, but I feel like making that decision to just do it is the scariest thing. Like, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE READY? HUH?
8. FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER
I guess this kinda ties in with having kids, but I love the idea of dedicating one night a week to family time. I mean, Chris and I try to do this now. We try and put aside time to cook elaborate meals for each other and eat at the table with wine and candles, but sometimes the lure of the sofa and our laptops and Tesco’s dine-in-for-£10 gets the better of us.
I want there to be one night a week where I cook something fancy and warm and full of those carbs that feel like they’re giving you a hug, where we talk about the week, we play games, and *maybe* there’s a fire burning in the background. I dunno, am I getting carried away?
And we’d invite our fave people to take part in our Friday night family night – parents and best friends and so on.
And yes, this might be 72% inspired by Friday Night Dinner on Channel 4, don’t judge me.
I know I take the freedom that comes with being self-employed for granted. I guess it’s with anything in life, once you get used to it, once it becomes your routine, your new ‘normal’, it stops being so wonderful and exciting.
But I adore that I can make money, enough money to live and do the odd ASOS order, from just doing what makes me happiest – writing. I literally get paid to write about my life, I’m not sure I’ve ever let that sink in before. Oh man, that’s crazy. I want to go back to my secondary school and tell teachers like look, look, look what I did.
Anyway, I’m not sure how blogging will evolve and change in two years, let alone a decade, but I hope I can keep on adapting and making content that excites people and interests people. I hope that I can keep this self-employed girl boss thing up, ‘cos you know what? I bloody love it.
This is a bit of a weird one, but something Chris and I have become a bit transfixed with over the past week. Basically, hygge a Danish word with no English translation – it’s essentially a way of life, and corr, it it one way of life I would like to include more of in my own.
It’s about comfort and cosiness. It’s about reading a book whilst wrapped up in a blanket and drinking a hot cup of coffee. It’s about fairy lights and sitting around the fire sharing stories. It’s about quality time, both with yourself and with good people. It’s about stepping away from your phone and social media, about feeling safe and secure and warm and good and content.
I hope that makes some sort of sense. Maybe Google it.
I’ve always suffered with a sneaky touch of SAD, so I’m hoping this new way of looking at the colder weather and darker days, will make them seem a whole lot sparklier.
What’s on your bucket list?