Oh man, I had such a ball dreaming up this imaginary day.
I mean, it was a ball until reality hit and I was on the phone to Sky because lol my broadband is horrendous just as the Tesco delivery driver turned up and one of the cats sauntered past me and farted. And well, it was all a little too obvious that I wasn’t quite living up the glamorous story that I’d whipped up in my own imagination.
But seriously, all the things in this post are heavenly and corr, I would probably sell one of my fallopian tubes to get all of these things delivered to me in one 24-hour period (I mean, I wouldn’t because I quite like my fallopian tubes, but you get what I’m saying…).
I hope this post helps you if you’ve never been to London and need some sexy plans, I hope it helps you if you live in London but hang on I’ve forgotten foods to eat and places to visit and I hope it helps if you it’s your birthday soon or you’ve got a promotion and you need some help treatin’ yo’ self because you a queen. Slay it.
8AM – THE BREAKFAST CLUB, SPITALFIELDS
I spent a long time thinking about every breakfast I’ve ever had in London. And although I’ve had some pretty slammin’ stacks of pancakes and some posh af plates of avocado and toast, it’s The Breakfast Club that came out on top.
There’s about eight branches around London, all serving up seriously babin’ American style brunch – from pancakes and bacon to Huevos Rancheros, but I’d opt for the Spitalfields one as it’s just outside Liverpool Street station, AKA my gateway to and from London.
The dish I’d order? The Chorizo Hash. With a side of avocado. OMG GUYS IT COMES WITH A POACHED EGG AND CRUSHED POTATOES <3<3 Oh and I’d order a coffee and a green juice, obvs.
9AM – CHEEKY PARLOUR
Ain’t nothing your girl loves more than a fresh mani-pedi.
Seriously though, my feet look like they belong to an ogre about 82% of the time. Yeeesh.
Cheeky is the cooler, younger sister of Soho House’s Cowshed beauty and grooming line, and Cheeky Parlour is nestled in the heart of Shoreditch, just a few minutes walk from The Breakfast Club. Huzzah!
Not only is it seriously Instagrammable, you can also get your hair done or a little wax or tint. Whilst a file and paint is just £14, I’d go the full whack and have Shellac because I’m a nuisance for peeling my nail varnish off two days after I’ve had it meticulously painted on…
10.30AM – COVENT GARDEN
Next up I’d go for a little mosey around tourist central because n’awww, it’s so pretty and also, CHAROTTE TILBURY STORE <3
Whilst in Covent Garden, I’d also pop into Chanel and pretend I could afford things and then take a sly snap of something hideously sexy and perfect for Insta whilst the sales assistant wasn’t looking, and then maybe, maybe, MAYBE, I’d treat myself to a little summin’ summin’ from Kate Spade.
I’d also peek inside H&M, Marks & Spencer and Kurt Geiger because why the flip not, eh?
12.30PM – SHACK SHACK
I mean, I *probably* wouldn’t be hungry by this point, but I’d find room for a little burger-shaped snack because during the perfect 24-hours in London, calories wouldn’t count would they?
There’s a little Shake Shack nestled in the heart of Covent Garden and I remain firm that the ShackBurger is for sure in my top three burgers of all time. Although admittedly it does taste even dandier when eaten in New York.
Another fave burger joint in London is Honest Burger. They also have a branch near Covent Garden and oh sweet hubba, those rosemary fries break my heart with happiness every single damn time. Oh and also, they do a crackin’ gluten-free burger, or so I’ve heard on the grapevine…
1PM – OSKIA’S SIGNATURE GLOW FACIAL AT ONE ALDWYCH
OK, so this is 102% the best treatment I’ve ever had in my life. And that includes that time I had an hour-long massage at Babington House when I was a journalist who lived the life of Kate Middleton.
It’s 75 minutes long and costs more than you’d ever like to see come out of your online banking account, but oh baby, it’s just THE most divine present to yourself that probably exists in the entire world.
My beauty therapist couldn’t have been nicer, she steamed my pores and did some extraction, she gave me a mini back massage and a scalp massage, and she talked me through my face – which areas were dry and which were congested, and what I could do at home to improve the general condition of my skin (exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate apparently).
You also get free access to the spa and swimming pool at One Aldwych, which, and you will die when I tell you this, PLAYS MUSIC UNDERWATER. It’s basically like being in the prefect’s bathroom at Hogwarts.
4PM – RADIO ROOFTOP BAR
Because hey, what’s the point in being in a city as enchanting and spectacular as London if you don’t get to witness it whilst being slightly tipsy from a rooftop bar?
The Radio Rooftop Bar is located across the road from your little Oskia facial, at the ME London hotel. It’s a *little* bit snooty, but let’s be honest, isn’t it nice to sometimes just pretend you fit into that scene and to order a glass of champagne without crying into your credit card receipt?
I’d start with something fizzy so I could toast my marvellous day (obvs I’d look super pretty because I’d have used all my new Charlotte Tilbury make-up in the One Aldwych changing rooms), and then I’d move onto a cocktail. Ideally one with passion fruit because passion fruit is bae <3
6PM – STK DINNER
Located just downstairs at the ME Hotel is possibly one of the most sexy, sassy, steak places in London – STK.
I’ve been there a few times, my fave being with my LOOK team with some prize money we’d one from Time Inc for being website of the year and hunning hell, did we go to town on the red wine and sides.
The steak is obviously divine, but the bread they bring to your table to start you off and the mac and cheese sides are just some of the most on-point things that’ll ever enter your mouth.
OH AND OMG ANOTHER DINNER OPTION IS DUCK AND WAFFLE. Because what’s better for dinner than waffles with crispy duck from 40 floors above London? AND it’s open 24 hours a day.
9PM – UBER BACK TO HOXTON HOTEL
After a long day of eating, drinking and laying about being pampered, there’s no way in heck I want to get back on the train to Ipperz and risk falling asleep because ahem, I’ve had too much wine and steak.
So instead I’d hop in an Uber to one of The Hoxton hotels – either Holborn or Shoreditch.
The rooms have massive circle mirrors that were made for selfies, are affordable and yet full of personality and charm and have fast wifi, good coffee and comfy beds. What more could you want, eh?
Maybe I’d have another couple of drinks at the bar, or maybe I’d starfish across the bed and make the most of that wifi with a little Netflix session. Dreamy.
Other things that would somehow be incorporated into my dream day include posing by the flowers at Liberty, because girl gotta keep up her basic image, although maybe I’d actually buy some this time around, and devouring a slice of rainbow cake from Hummingbird Bakery <3
What would you do on your perfect day in London?