17 Things That Happen When You Start Playing Pokemon Go

IMG_0650 (2)

You start off like oh yeah, I’ll give this little fella a download because I was *quite* the Pokemon champion way back when in 1999.

And then the next thing you know you’re comparing your Pokedex with people on Twitter and lying awake at night contemplating unexplored local areas where there’s *probably* a Charizard hiding.

Oh you, you’re so good at this whole adulting thing. Lol.

Here’s 17 things that happen when you start playing Pokemon Go.

1. You start absolutely losing it because ZOMG THERE’S A PIDGEY IN MY STREET. IN MY ACTUAL STREET. A PIDGEY. And then you catch it after using approximately 13 Pokeballs and wow, the adrenaline is running higher than that time you almost got hit by a bus last week.

2. And then, 17 minutes, four Pidgeys, two Rattatas and a Zubat later you’re like this is it. We’re going on a summer walk. A nice walk. A beautiful walk. To find Pokemon. You put your trainers on because shit just got real.

3. Then your phone step-county thingy freaks the fuck out because you haven’t walked this many steps in one day since that one time you accidentally agreed to run a 5k for charity. You’re probably as fit as Mo Farrah now and people will start approaching you for gym clothes sponsorships, so there’s that.

4. You find something that seems mildly rare. Maybe an Eevee, maybe a Venonat, and then you have an absolute excitement breakdown in the street as you crouch into a prime Pokeball throwing position. You forget that you are in fact, in public. People can see you, people can’t unsee you. You are an embarrassment. But like, you’re also a really good Pokemon Trainer, so swings and roundabouts.

5. You consider changing your Twitter bio to make room for the phrase ‘Pokemon Trainer’ because it suddenly feels like a really important part of who you are as a person.

6. Then your phone crashes, just as Eevee looks like it’s in a Pokeball. The app is broken. Nothing is moving. You feel anxiety surge through your veins. Can you cry? Is that a reasonable reaction? And then you have to nervously wait for Pokemon Go to reboot so you can find out whether you caught it or LOL NO IT’S GONE HAHAHAHAHAHA.

7. Then something new shows up in the list of nearby Pokemon. It’s not in your Pokedex and CAN ANYONE TELL WHAT THIS SHADOW IS? OMG HAVE I FOUND A LEGENDARY BIRD?

8. And then, because your memory is, ahem, a little bit rustier than you’d like to admit, you start yelling excitedly OMG A SPARROW or OMG A WEEPYBELL like a middle-aged dad trying to be hip and happening. It’s a Spearow and a Weepingbell, you absolute doughnut.

9. After your long walk around the neighbourhood, you quickly discover that all the good Pokemon are in fact not hidden down local suburban side streets, and make a vow that you will dedicate every waking moment to exploring more Pokemon friendly areas.

10. So naturally you head home and lay on the sofa opening and closing your app every 2.7 minutes just in case, y’know, a Jigglypuff does fancy just strolling down your street. V likely.

11. But with your phone charging, obvs, because turns out you’re going to need to keep a portable charger on your person at all time for the rest of time because lol Pokemon Go just drinks data and battery.

12. And so then you head out to the biggest park within a 30-mile radius of your home feeling all smug and like woah, there’s going to be so many Pokemon in the long grass here, only to find half the country has flocked there and the park is swarming with fellow Pokemon trainers and is this embarrassing or actually really cool? WAIT IS THIS WHAT COMMUNITY SPIRIT FEELS LIKE?

13. On the way home you refuse to drive and instead sit in the passenger seat with the app open, catching a Slowpoke that’s just appeared on the dashboard as you’ve slowed down at traffic lights because hey, that’s just how you roll.

14. EXCEPT OMG THERE’S THREE LURES IN A ROW ON THAT ROAD. LET’S GO OVER THERE NOW.

15. And then you and your phone are awkwardly hanging out with three crowds of teenage boys in a street by the town centre and is this all a bit weird now? But not that weird because you’ve just become the proud owner of a Clefairy and a Hypno, soooooo…

16. And then it’s 11pm and you’re lying in bed singing ‘You teach me and I’ll teach you, Pokemon, gotta catch ’em all’ for the 17th time that day whilst working out if it’s too much to ring in sick tomorrow and head into London because COR, IMAGINE THE ACTION YOUR POKEDEX WOULD SEE. JUST IMAGINE.

17. Have you hit peak life? Or a real low in life? WHO KNOWS AND WHO CARES BECAUSE POKEMON <3

 

(P.S. YES, I made Chris pull over on the way home from Tesco to take a photo of me for this post and nope, there was not a single Pokemon found in this field. FFS).

 

 

 

  • han

    Hahahaha amazing.

    Hannah | Oh January

  • Eliza

    This is hilarious and so so true!

  • Rachel

    Haha, I especially relate to the part about continuing to check the app while on the couch, even though you KNOW there are no Pokemon around.

  • Lucy

    I love your shirt! Where can I find it??

    I used up all my data with Pokemon Go in 3 days so I’ve had to quite cold turkey 🙁 Great post!

  • Part of me wishes I couldn’t relate but the other part loves that I can…. Also, crying is a completely acceptable response to losing a Pokemon when the app crashes! x

    Small&Blonde♥

  • Cat

    ahahah it will ruin my life but it is so funny!! except living in a GPS not-friendly zone!

    xx from italy
    Cate ღ kate/idoscope.com

  • This is so beyond true!! Laughing so much at how painfully accurate this is. Well done my darling, captured so well 😉

    Katie // wordsbykatie.com

  • HAHAHA SO funny post! You are amazing 🙂

    http://youthfulblog.blogspot.com/

  • Sam

    THIS. This is my life right now xx

    Sam // What I Know Now

  • hahaha this is exactly my life in a post for the last week or so! I’m not gonna lie, I was more of a Digimon girl but I’m loving Pokemon Go! x

    Ariadna || RAWR BOWS

  • This post is the most relatable thing ever. I went for a 5 mile walk today to see what I could find! x

    https://57-days.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/6-ways-to-stop-worrying.html

  • This has been my LIFE for the past few days. I’ve discovered one good thing about basically living on top of a nature reserve and that’s that I can so Pokestop spins from my bed, aka I am winning at life haha. Seriously though, I do need a Pikachu soon

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

  • This post describes my current life pretty accurately, hahaha. I feel like I’m a little too obsessed with it, but I don’t care. Gotta catch ’em all, right?

    Franzi. x // [http://franzizzy.blogspot.com/]

  • Amy

    Haha yes I love this, if anyone was going to do a post on this it would be you! And I don’t want to brag, but there are two Pokegyms within range of my bed! Winning right here,
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  • I downloaded Pokemon Go yesterday and I’m already so addicted – I squeal so bad when I see theres a Pokemon nearby haha!

    Lucy | Forever September

  • Haha the struggle is real with this now. I have been to SO many locations but because the stupid app has crashed I have no idea what I could have caught. OH THE HUMANITY

  • This might just be my favourite post of yours ever. So funny and so unashamedly accurate. 😂

    http://Www.ohsobecky.com

  • I only started playing yesterday (the server was down haha) and I found my first in my bathroom! It’s crazyyyy but so fun!!

    Yiota
    PinkDaisyLoves

  • I’m yet to download Pokemon Go (living in the ruralist of rural makes catching them all hard!) but man I loved the trading cards and show when I was young! Love that you got Chris to pull over, top-notch dedication!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing

  • YES HANNAH. I knew I could count on you for a corker of a Pokemon Go list. My life has spiraled out of control, I have been found roaming around the streets of London at night in my dressing gown. The comforting thing is, everyone is doing the same. LOL what a time to be alive. Immy x

    http://www.immymay.com

  • Rebecca

    This is 100% accurate to my life right now and my boyfriend thinks i’m the biggest geek going, but I really don’t care! I downloaded the app on Wednesday and I’ve walked about 13km since then because the suspense as to what’s lurking in the eggs I’ve collected is too much, I NEED them all to hatch pronto!

    I do feel a little bit like I need to buy a dog to make my Pokemon hunting a little less embarrassing though, at least then as a 25 year old grown woman, i’d have an excuse to wander around my local park/nature reserve for 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon?

  • The only thing I really want to know is were you actually on the app when this photo was taken? 😉
    This is so so good 😛 <3

  • Pingback: Pokemon Go, go, go! – LDNfit()

  • Pingback: Pokemon Go, go, go! – SOPHIE HINES()

  • This is disturbingly accurate! I genuinely did shed a tear when my app glitched and I lost the Jigglypuff I’d been searching for for about a week… My boyfriend is probably still laughing at me but it was traumatic!

  • Oh god, I can totally relate to all of these 17 things… 😀 <3

  • I don’t play it YET haha

  • Hahahaha… I feel you! I feel like an outcast standing in the middle of a street pointing my phone at nothing in front of me but hey, it’s fine because I caught a dratini! 😀


Recent Videos

Follow Me