19 Of The Biggest Shocks About Being A Grown Up

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Because let’s face it, you guys love a list post almost as much as you love Harry Potter and wine nights. And also, being a grown-up involves a lot more confusing form-filling in and overgrown gardens than you could ever have imagined.

So here are the nineteen biggest shocks about entering the world of adulthood.

1. You haven’t seen nearly as many people stop, drop and roll in the middle of the street as you thought you would. Turns out setting yourself on fire isn’t as much of a daily problem as school and playing The Sims had you believe. Whodda thought it?

2. Getting married, buying a house and having a baby before 25 doesn’t just automatically happen to you, like going to school or getting your period. You will laugh and sob into your pyjamas when you think about all the stupid beliefs 16-year-old you had. Lol. Where’s the wine at?

3. Boob sweat. Mate, forget about applying deodorant underneath your armpits, why is there a stream flowing under, around and between my boobs 45% of the time?

4. The cute little way that every single weekday morning you wake up and for the first 7 minutes lie there in some sort of semi-conscious state thinking FUCK, I can’t do today. I CAN NOT DO TODAY. I’m too tired, I’m ill, I’m exhausted. I’ll have to ring in sick. Today has to be cancelled. Make the world end. And then you remember that lol jk, get yo ass in the shower.

5. The fact quicksand hasn’t been nearly as much of a problem as you assumed it would be. You haven’t even lost a shoe or a friend to it. Wild.

6. That within the space of what seems like a year you go from it being socially unacceptable to get pregnant because ZOMG ANOTHER PREGNANT TEEN to reading articles on the Mail Online telling you you’re on the cusp of being infertile. Um what wait, I seemed to have blinked and missed the exact day I was supposed to get knocked up.

7. The fact you don’t have a house with a dance machine, pet room, ball pit room, slide from upstairs to downstairs and a bubble machine. Fuming.

8. How much space in your brain money takes up. Should I really spend Β£7 on breakfast? How can that girl afford a Self Portrait dress? FUCK, I spent Β£72.43 last night and now there’s not enough money in my account for my rent. Should I start saving for my pension? What can I sell on eBay so that I can buy that ASOS coat? How will I ever buy a house? Is it like, really bad to be in my overdraft AND have a credit card bill, or does everyone secretly have the same set up going on?

9. How many times you walk into a room and then you’re like nope, not a clue why I’m here because I just got lost in my own thoughts about BLOODY WORK. Work. What happened hun, you used to be cool?

10. That drinks which once tasted pretty much exactly like getting shampoo in your mouth (looking at you coffee and wine) are now the very liquids that get you through the day and make like worth living. Please never leave me.

11. How hard it is to say the perfect stern-yet-polite ‘no’ when asked if you have a loyalty card for every damn shop you go in, which says I’m a nice person but DO NOT ASK ME IF I’D LIKE ONE OR I’LL CUT A BITCH. Except not really because lol you wouldn’t even know how to go about cutting a bitch.

12. That after a decade of going on at least three ‘healthy eating kicks’ every single year, you still do not look like Rachel Green. Huh.

13. That it’s suddenly cool to have mammoth eyebrows again and you’re like YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING ME, I spent hours, HOURS, tweezing these into perfect little half a centimetre thick arches. FFS.

14. How much you have to downplay ever wanting children or to get married. Nah, you know me, I’m just super cool and laid back, no rush. I’m just happy being me and being a sassy independent woman, I don’t need any of that stuff. *Hides list of possible baby names and sets wedding Pinterest board to private*

15. How often you have to give yourself pep talks in your head like yes girl you can do this and you’re strong and this will be over soon and you got this, because turns out, the older you get, the more other people annoy you.

16. The fact your weekly shop involves GRAINS and green things and soya milk. SOYA, what even is soya? And no Penguin chocolate bars, Rolo yogurts and Dairylea triangles. What’s the point?

17. How often you hand over a card to pay for something and you’re like ‘let’s try this one’ because lol you haven’t checked your bank balance since July 22nd 2014 and who knows what’s going on with that fella.

18. That you haven’t ever needed to refer to onomatopoeia, photosynthesis or Pythagoras’ Theorem but you have no idea how the government works or how to file your taxes or what affects your credit rating. HAHAHA good one, education system, you joker, you.

19. That you still, dun dun dun, feel like a child. A child that can y’know make pasta and get the train on her own, but a child that got trapped in a woman’s body and is completely winging it. When does real adulthood start, plz?

 

 

 

  • cat

    Absolutely love this post! I can relate to so many of these :’) xx

    http://www.hello-cat.blogspot.com

  • whoaaa how you do that?! haha!
    8, 9, 15, 16 (ok and 14 but ssssshhhhhh) πŸ˜‰

  • You don’t buy Penguin chocolate bars, Rolo yogurts and Dairylea triangles? WHAT?! Maybe not the penguins or dairylea (that often…) but if a rolo yog is on offer I don’t be able to pass that lil’ babe by…Alice xxx

    http://www.woodenwindowsills.co.uk

  • Kat

    Can relate to all of these… Especially #2! I was asked recently at a get together about 8 different times, “so when are you guys getting married/having kids?’ Ugh. As if I don’t ask myself the same damn thing daily.

    Still not totally sure why I wanted to adult so bad in the first place, lol.

  • Can realate to almost every one of these! Especially number 2&3. 16 year old me definitely thought I would be in a serious relationship at 20 and not have to deal with boob sweat. Oh how I was wrong! Haha!!

  • I SO needed to hear this today. I’ve just finally moved out of a student house two days ago and I’m faced with the reality that I need to be an adult now (seriously, ew). Harry Potter and wine nights sound fab, and there’s nothing more I love than a good list post. Hopefully in the future the education system starts to actually mention that y’know taxes are actually a thing

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

  • YAS!
    Also, I actually have lost a shoe to quicksand. I mean it wasn’t LIFE OR DEATH, but I did scream quite a bit and my shoe did come off so yes… That’s a thing that has happened to me.

  • Jasmine

    Love this! I actually said to my partner recently don’t you ever feel like your pretending to be grown up because I do!

    Jaz

  • Loved this post Hannah, made me laugh out loud! I can relate to most of them πŸ™‚

    Rebecca Claire – RebeccaClaireBlog

  • I’m at 31 and I’m still not a grown up. I hope!

  • I think your super power is writing what’s in my brain.

  • Lolz, 34, about to get married and STILL feel like I am playing at this adulting nonsense! Said this to my aunts and grandmas at my sisters wedding the other day and they were all like, what?! I felt grown up at 21! Admittedly they were all married and pregnant at that point, but I am sure it’s a generation thing! St least we know we know nothing! πŸ˜‚ xx

  • All of these. All of freaking these! Comedy genius. It’s like you can see into my soul!!! Nice work! πŸ˜€ Love it! Kate xxx

  • I love this post! So many giggles because they are so relatable!
    Corinne | Hello Corinne

  • Sophie B

    LOVE this. Great post Hannah.

  • Hannah Gale lists back on form! Literally nodded at every single one of this! x
    Sophie Cliff

  • Debbie

    Spot on hannah, spot on xx

  • This is everything. I love a good listicle and yours are always smashing Hannah. Cheerful yet OH-MA-GAHD WHY AM I AN ADULT thing to read on a dull Tuesday morning πŸ™‚

  • Hahaha I legit said the same thing about quicksand the other day. Also stinging nettles and earwigs seemed to be abundant as a child and now I can’t remember the last time I saw either one and if I do come across stinging nettles I don’t know what a doc leaf looks like any more so I’m helpless.

  • Yes! To so, so many of these! You’ve definitely nailed adulthood!

    Kate | http://www.petiteadventures.org/

  • Josie

    Was having a disastrous morning and this post has made me feel at least 90% better! It’s so great to have a reminder sometimes that you’re not the only one feeling overwhelmed and that you’re not very good at being an adult haha. Love your blog <3

  • Number 4 – every single damn day!

  • Rebecca

    It’s good to know i’m not the only one who feels like she’s completely winging it!
    Who’d have thought being an adult would throw up so many challenges – i’m 25 and currently trying to come to terms with the fact i’ve basically done nothing I planned to do by this age when I was 16!

    <3 xx

  • Such a relate-able post – especially the one about pregnancy. Great insights x
    http://www.theglitterfashionista.com

  • OMG hit the nail on the head again and again and again. If the private Pinterest boards ever see the light of day by some hideous error, I’ll be single for the rest of my life

    http://www.fashionnomads.com

  • All of this! Just all of this is so damn true! I don’t know when I became an adult but I certainly don’t feel like it. Chicken nuggets for tea please. Sophie c

    https://stylestarsandsparkle.blogspot.co.uk

  • I LOVE this, why can I never say no to a loyalty card? x

    http://www.shayholly.co.uk

  • Caz

    I love this post Hannah – i’m glad I’m not the only one with a private Wedding board on Pinterest!

    Caz | This is Caz

  • So hilarious yet so true! Why do I still feel like a child at near 26 years old!?

    Natalie Ann xo | Petal Poppet Blogs β™₯

  • I’d quite like to unsubscribe from adulthood. It’s just not for me. I really did think my biggest problem would be quicksand. Loved this post!

    http://www.kaylachats.com

  • Ok I can relate to pretty much all of those – I mean boob sweat, the trouble is real, why did I never get warned of this hell?! And don’t get me started on today I have too much adulting to do and I just can’t… I can’t… Okay I can, shower time!

    Emma | HarmonyBlaze.co.uk

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  • TOO RELATABLE, especially #2, 18 and 19 – seriously I always believed I’d have it down but no, I feel in a perpetual state of I’m 22 but feel 28 and look 18 and I’m single and don’t eat dairy so no ice-cream and wtf are taxes?!

    Life.

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing

  • Oh, such an entertaining article! Thank you for your bright writing style and thank you for entering the world of adulthood with humor and smile! Let us share our β€œfavorite” part of being an adult – deadlines and schedules! Especially when it comes to being responsible for every step of your everyday life and having the need of an amazing schedule to follow hour by hour and minute by minute. And the urge is even bigger when you travel and have to plan every step. Thank God for minicabs always being there for us, when the schedule doesn’t go as planned and the rush to the airport is epic!

  • Yup, I thought I’d be married with babies by 26! I turn 30 this year and I’m happy with where I’m at.

    Do NOT add up what you spend in a month. I made an audible scream last month when I did it.

    Send that baby name list my way, I have zero names on my list.

    Debbie x
    Hello Deborah | UK Lifestyle blog

  • OMG thank you HG for this post!! Gave me a giggle on a to hard to adult day… which started with getting a lift *from our facilities guy* to my car to get my work key card to then lock myself out and break my computer – is it 5pm Friday yet?!

  • Legit my feelings today, especially 17 haha! Spot on!!

    http://www.zestofalice.com

  • Thank goodness for the lack of quicksand and fire!
    Great list, so true, especially #4 and #15.

  • Number 7 made me LOL. Me and hubby have a whole list of things that will be “in the next house”.

    But number 16 – what you talking about?! I buy Penguin chocolate bars, Rolo yogurts and Dairylea triangles quite frequently! πŸ™‚ yay me!

    …thinking about it, perhaps I’m not really a grown up….?

    Hayley @ http://www.quirkylittleplanet.com

  • I ask myself every day ‘when does real adulthood start?!’ Like wtf surely this is not how everyone adults! Someone teach me how to adult properly πŸ˜‚

  • Number 8 is my life RN hahah – so relevant!!
    x

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  • Mel

    Number 6 seriously! I genuinely panic every other day that I missed my baby chance because I was too busy trying to figure out other adult things. If they (whoever they are) could give all females who want children an exact date that they should get pregnant on that would be great. I’m not even in my mid 20s and I’m panicking about missing the fertility window. I don’t even know if I want kids!

    http://www.raisethewaves.com

  • Ppl like you get all the brasin. I just get to say thanks for he answer.

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