Before I dive right in and serve up some of the sweetest food porn your eyes have probably laid eyes on today, I just want to plead with you not to judge me.
I ate a lot whilst in New York, and aside from a panic green side salad to go with a whopper of a plate of meatballs and spaghetti on the last day, I’m pretty sure not a single portion of my five a day was consumed on the entire week-long trip.
Waaaaaaait a second, maybe that’s why my jet lag feels extra heinous and I feel like a shriveled up shrimp sobbing into its dry pink skin.
Pink skin because hey I still have a burnt back from a few hours in the sun at Coney Island. But you can blame Chris for that one because he didn’t offer to rub sun cream into my back. The rascal.
So anyway, New York food porn. Oh man I’m hungry.
I had to mention this little French hun first because as soon as the food entered my mouth I just felt like everything in the world was at peace.
We went for brunch at Buvette and the menu has all the French classics like croissants and jam and that, but we ordered big – sharing the waffle sandwich with maple syrup, bacon and cheese, and the cheese, ham and egg toastie. Oh sweet jesus, I don’t think any words or photos will do it justice here. Just trust me when I say it is everything. Even the orange juice tasted like it’d been kissed by angels.
Oh and we spotted Liv Tyler in there. It’s located in Grove Street in Greenwich Village and just a quick head’s up, it gets pretty busy at weekends.
2. THE MEATBALL SHOP
We actually ended up at this sweet carby heaven twice during our trip, mostly because we couldn’t be bothered to venture down to Italy from our Midtown hotel and fancied big homely bowls of pasta. I think there’s about five restaurants in NYC – one in Brooklyn, one on the Upper East Side and one in Greenwich Village, to name a few.
As the name suggests, they specialise in meatballs and you can choose from pork, beef, veggie or speciality ones, and then choose between different sauces and sides – things like spaghetti and salad and rigatoni.
Every portion comes with a hefty grating of Parmesan and portion of bread too because obvs.
Our fave was the night we visited the Chelsea branch and sat outside with a caraffe of red wine and soaked in the sweet, warm Memorial Day weekend vibes and chatter lingering in the air. Perfection.
If you think Krispy Kreme doughnuts are peak deliciousness than oh mumma, you are in for one heck of an experience.
Americans just do doughnuts about 73756475 times better than us lame Brits, I’m telling ya.
This little joint is the perfect pit stop after a long day of walking (the main Manhattan Dough branch is only a few streets away from both Union Square and Madison Square Park). I ordered the coconut one and can confirm it was a thing of my filthiest dreams, although I’ve also heard super sexy things about the dulce de leche one. Ah man, can someone send me one right now plz?
4. EMACK & BOLIO’S
I thought this was going to be some fancy, slightly-hipster ice cream joint, but nope. It was just plonked near Central Park and full of school children snapping up cones on their sweltering walk home from school, which is what I really liked about it.
Aside from having a giant list of ice cream flavours that involve a lot of caramel, chocolate chips and nuts, they also have the sexiest cereal cones known to man – held together with marshmallow for extra sassy flavourness.
I think these came in at about £8 each but when they hold as much Instagram glory as these huns and taste like diabetes, who even cares?
5. EGG SHOP
This was one of those places we’d been heavily recommended and then mildly freaked out over the menu and the vibe and WHAT DO WE ORDER.
I always know when Chris is overwhelmed because he’ll just order the same as me and I’m like HOW WE BE DO SHARESIES IF WE HAVE THE SAME THING.
Anyway, I *think* the menu is kinda split into two – egg bowls and egg sandwiches. We opted for the bowls with avocado and pulled pork, topped with some crispy blue thing that tasted insane and added the dreamiest crunch texture. Although the girls next to us looked like they had avo on toast with egg, so that’s another reason to visit.
A good alternative to eating pancakes, and also because of all that protein and that it meant I didn’t crash into some sort of hideous sugar crash by 11am.
6. SHAKE SHACK
This place is a no brainer, even though yeah alright we DO have it in the UK now or whatever. It’s not the same.
The Madison Square Park branch is the best because hey what’s better than eating cheeseburgers in the sunshine? And also, I think(?) it might be the first Shake Shack. Although expect to queue for about 20 minutes to place an order and then another 20 minutes for your food if you insist on going at peak lunch break time.
I just want you all to know that this is my number one burger of all time, so there’s that. UH HUH, above a McDonald’s double cheeseburger. I know, I feel like I’ve betrayed my one true love.
Chris and I were loitering around Macbar in Soho waiting for a table to become free so we could rest our poorly little feet and drown in macaroni cheese when we noticed this fellow next door.
It’s a restaurant with an open front and a lot of pavement seating, so it gives off a really chill holiday vibe because you just get to sit and watch the city go by around you. AND GUESS WHAT? Turns out they actually serve all the macaroni cheese dishes from Macbar, maybe they’re owned by the same person or something.
Anyway, this is another place we ended up twice because we just liked the vibe and sweet mother have mercy, the chicken wings. I don’t know what made them so good, but they had some Korean chilli sauce on them and they were out of this world. I think about those wings every hour, on the hour.
You can go for breakfast, lunch or dinner, and the cocktail menu is pretty handsome too. Both times we went we just ordered a couple of starters and sides to share, rather than go for the mains and they were immense. Standing ovation to the cheeseburger spring rolls, also.
Admittedly, I wasn’t overwhelmed by the set-up of Baohaus in the slightest. I just really wanted some Taiwanese steamed buns more than life itself and this was apparently the place to go.
It’s in a dark and dingy little shop in the East Village, and we were a bit like how do we order and what do we order and how much do we want and in the end we ended up with one bun each and some taro fries to share (taro being a root vegetable that I don’t hugely recommend).
There are seats to sit in, but they were all taken, so we found a little park to take our box of buns and fries to. And, despite the fact I didn’t like the restaurant or the fries, the pork belly bun was so good that I wanted to weep with happiness forevermore. And that’s the reason Baohaus made the list, that bloody sexy perfect pork belly bun.
So yeah, if you’re swinging by East Village and feeling peckish, you must buy one. I insist. Your future happiness depends on it.
9. MELON JUICE
OK, this is a bit of a weird one. But basically, in New York, there’s a lot of street vendors selling like kebabs and pretzels and things and JUICE. All the fresh juice made on the spot for you.
Order the melon one. There’s always a melon one. It’s a combo of watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe and ice and it is the most soothing and healing drink known to man.
Tired? Hungry? Headache? Hot? Sad? Hungover? This $5 badger will sort you out. And it tastes dreamboatin’.
So yeah, stop by a street vendor and snap one of these hunks up, you won’t regret it.
Have you eaten at any of these places, homegirls?