18 Things You’ll Only Know If You’re A Blogger Boyfriend

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Hi guys I’m Chris and I’ve hijacked Hannah’s blog for a post this morning.

One of those classic list ones I know you guys like. So here goes…

Living the life of a blogger boyfriend is certainly interesting. It has it’s ups and downs, pros and cons. Although one thing is for sure, it isn’t as sunshine and rainbows as Instagram makes it out to be. There’s a lot more cold food, toddler tantrums and standing in the rain taking photos that all look the same to you.

1. You wake up to a hideously early alarm, spend ages getting ready and by the time you leave for work she’s still asleep. Her 10 second commute beats yours hands down.

2. You receive hourly updates about the gym, the cats and the number of people currently in the local Starbucks all while you’re stuck in the office praying your boss won’t tell you off for being on your phone. FFS.

3. You try to explain to people, when they ask, what your girlfriend does for a living and how she actually makes money and no she doesn’t just sit on the sofa all day watching Teen Mom and yes it does count as a job.

4. You have to stay strong and learn how to put on the best fake smile EVER when she’s like oh and FYI I’m off to Vegas next week, see ya later alligator.

5. And learn to stay even stronger when you see the travel photos on Instagram while you’re at home eating a Pot Noodle in your pants. Sad face.

6. BUT you also massively appreciate the meals, holidays and experiences you do get to go to for free, all thanks to bae. Even if you do spend most of the time taking photos…

7. You have to listen to a 5 minute explanation of why the photo she wants to upload doesn’t work on her Instagram grid and perfecting the ‘I totally care and this is so important and please let’s talk about this for the rest of the evening’ face.

8. When you arrive home from work to see a mountain of exciting parcels and post, but approximately 1% of it is addressed to you. That 1% being your credit card bill. Dreamy.

9. And then you watch her open her post and hope and pray to the Royal Mail gods that someone has sent a pack of cookies in with the free nail varnish samples because hey at least you get to eat those.

10. And THEN you get left with the job of working out how to fit everything in the recycling bin. Why. Is. There. So. Much. Packaging?!

11. You get ‘booked in’ to take outfit photos with the lure of coffee, even if all you want to do is stay in and watch football.

12. Or, even worse, you get tricked into going for a ‘nice walk’ which is just an elaborate excuse to find good outfit backgrounds and Instagram opportunities.

13. You have to hear her talk about other bloggers as though they live down the street and you should know all about their lives even if you’ve never met any of them and think your ears might start bleeding.

14. You’ll be scrolling through Instagram and OH LOOK she’s wearing your shirt. No biggie babe, I was only going to wear that to work tomorrow.

15. Your house is constantly littered with random crap like camera lenses, photo ‘props’ and missed delivery cards.

16. When you go out for food you have to wait for her to rearrange all the plates for a ‘flat lay’ before you can get stuck in.

17. You’ve been screamed at in the street to re-take a photo because you made her thighs look ‘massive’. Um, they look the same as they always do?

18. And finally, you have to be prepared with chocolate and hugs for when the Internet has been mean to her, because after all she’s your girlfriend first and a blogger second.

 

You can read more from me over at ChristopherGeorge.live.


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