Yo, ma homies.
I was hoping I’d be writing this post with bright sunshine streaming through the windows and a gust of motivation and EASTER WEEKEND COUNTDOWN firing through my veins. But alas nope, your girl is hungover.
Man, remind me not to have three small glasses of wine next time I go out for a family meal. Grown-up hangovers are the worst.
But hey, I have a smoothie and we’re getting takeout burgers tonight, so y’know, I’m handling it.
You sweet horrendous beautiful app, you.
I think most of us have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the dreamboat that is Insta. I think they key is to not take it too seriously, to distract your brain from dwelling too much on it.
I have quite a ‘clean’ grid, so I don’t take photos in the evening. I try and upload everything in real-time because it’s more me, but there are obviously days, days like today, where I’m home and ffs I’ve Instagrammed everything I could literally Instagram in this house, where I’ll upload an old snap with a real-time caption.
I’m all about a good, relatable caption. Instagram isn’t relatable, it’s not a blog. It’s about good snaps and an aspirational vibe, so I like to bring it back down to Friend’s re-runs, ironing and naps in the captions rather than in the photos themselves, y’know?
ANYWAY HERE’S HOW I EDIT MY PHOTOS. This is a requested post just FYI, so um yeah.
I’ve rambled on about this app enough times. It’s free, there ARE other photo-editing apps, but this is the one I like because you can see what your grid will look like with a new photo before you go the whole hog and actually upload it.
You do have to upload each image one by one to see your grid, it doesn’t just import it from Insta or anything, just FYI.
The first thing I do on VSCO CAM is use one of my go-to filters. I mostly use A5, but sometimes venture over into HB1. They’re both pretty similar tbh. I think it’s important to pick a filter or two and stick to it if you want a ‘theme’ because otherwise your grid is just an artistic splash of higgildy piggeldy.
I usually apply the filter somewhere between +4 and +10.
I literally feel like I’m sharing my soul with you right now.
I tend to up the exposure by +2 or +3 and then up the contrast by +1 or +2, or sometimes even more if the image is of a beauty product or summin on my white bed sheet.
I also sharpen all images by about +3 and up the saturation about +2. Sometimes this makes the image feel a bit too warm, so I’ll move the temperature to -1.
Writing this out makes me realise what a wally I sound. Hashtag mildly embarrassed. It’s honestly like a scientific formula. Lols.
Once I’m happy with how my new baby is looking on my VCSO CAM grid, I save it to my camera roll and get her on my Insta.
I do sometimes (maybe every 1 in 4) add a touch of Clarendon filter to the image just before I upload, usually between the 10 and 30% mark.
I realise I just said that Instagram isn’t about being relatable, but I’ve started injecting more of my personality into my captions, because hey, it’s another chance to get someone to take notice of your image and comment or like, y’know?
I also tend to use three or four hastags. I’m not overly convinced how much hash tags work on Instagram. I know some people often comment on their own image with about 50 different hashtags, but I don’t feel like that would help build an engaged audience? I dunno.
AND THAT’S ME DONE.
I think you have to treat Instagram like a computer game, something that’s detached from you as a person. Your mission is to get new followers and more likes, but it’s no reflection on you, as a person. Like trying to win stars on Mario 64. If you fell in the lava or drowned under water and didn’t get the star, it wasn’t a reflection on your abilities outside of the game.
Of course if you just love Instagram for sharing photos with your boos and have no interest in growing your followers than I LOVE YOU and ignore everything I’ve just said.