This wasn’t the blog post I had planned for today, but at some point, whilst digging into the biggest bowl of tomato, olive and feta spaghetti with a balsamic rocket side salad, I got a blogging epiphany and felt really excited and well, here we are now.
I was supposed to write something about why I was in Italy last week, but y’know, you can read up on that tomorrow if you so wish. Might even get on top of my game and write it up tonight and schedule it for 6am rather than make you wait around all day for a new post whilst I twiddle my thumbs and watch PLL and eat avocado and go swimming like most days at the moment.
Lol. Soz and that.
It’s felt like the blogging world has been in a rut since, well, since as long as I’ve known it. And this isn’t the first time I’ve addressed it. It feels like at every twist and turn, there’s a new post from a blogger about how they’re struggling with motivation and inspiration and enough self-confidence that they RULE, to enjoy blogging or to know in which direction to take their blog.
And I gotta say, as I was busy filling in my Bullet Journal (post on that fella to come), I realised I wasn’t inspired or bursting with GIMME A KEYBOARD AND A CUP OF COFFEE at any of my post ideas.
Everything feels so done.
There, I said it. Every decent blog post idea seems done. Blah.
I was going to write posts about how I edit my Insta photos, or my fave accounts to follow, but y’know what? Do you REALLY want to read another post on that? Probably not.
And so, whilst scoffing carbs into my mouth and trying not to splatter tomato sauce down my striped top, something in my brain changed.
Maybe it was my handsome lunch, or maybe it was the postcard I received in the post today from Lazy Pencil Co (shop here) that I was Instagramming as I ate, that reads ‘Care Less, Do More’, but I just kind of thought, what am I doing?
At what point did I stop feeling so excited about creating content?
At what point did I start spending so long questioning everything I did as a blogger, photographer, writer, social media user, that I stopped just throwing stuff out there because I LOVED it?
At some point there stopped being such a thing as a ‘quick post’. Every post needs good lighting and photography props and a blur background. Every post needs research and an angle. Every post needs to be like a feature in a magazine. And then I remembered that FUCKING HELL, that’s why I don’t like magazines.
There are enough bloggers out there who have NAILED that aspirational magazine blog thing. They have it down to a tee, they are rocking it, they have found their USP and they are killing it.
But that’s not me. That’s never been me. You’ve never come to my blog for elegant beauty round ups and photos of me tottering about in heels against dreamy back-drops. You’ve come here for words, for reassurance that cor blimey, I’m not failing like I thought I was. Maybe you’ve come for the odd recipe or travel recommendation, or because I’m a similar size to you and you find my outfits slightly more helpful than Pinterest.
I’m not entirely sure where I’m going about this, but for the first time in forever I feel so empowered and excited about blogging.
I feel like I’ve unlocked my own brain.
I want to go home and put on my pyjamas and settle myself on the sofa with a tea and my laptop until I’m so tired my brain feels fuzzy, just pouring out ideas and content.
And you don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that feeling to come back.
At some point when I made the decision to make creating content on my own website a career, I was stripped of my passion towards it. Like, the minute you make a hobby a job it suddenly doesn’t seem as fun somehow? And I’ve been frantically searching for that I MUST WRITE BECAUSE LOVE feeling to come back.
I’m not sure where I’m going from here. I have a couple of ideas. One is to eventually turn this blog just into a diary. Where every day I will post about the day before – the clothes worn, the food (even the spaghetti hoops and chicken dippers) eaten, the emotions and thoughts that whizzed through my brain. The things I did and felt as an average human being. The other is to post shorter posts, multiple times a day.
I could throw out an article on LOOK.co.uk – images, links and all – within 45 minutes, so why does one blog post, five days a week feel like such a lengthy chore? It shouldn’t?
I want it to be more spur of the moment. More reactive to life and less planned and edited.
I think of all the things in the last few days I could have written about – the make-up I wore to see JoJo last night (which was without a doubt the best dramatic make-up I’ve ever done on myself), the insane pasta I ate for lunch today, the emotions I felt after seeing my nan on Saturday when she didn’t know who I was, the OMG WHEN DID I HIT THIS AGE feeling when the third thing my step mum asked me when I saw her at the weekend was ‘so, are you broody?’.
But I didn’t. They could have all been individual posts. They could have all been written within an hour or two.
And I guess the only thing that’s stopped me has been the fear that the photos wouldn’t have been OMG SHE IS THE BEST DANG PHOTOGRAPHER IN THE WORLD enough.
I’ve spent so long kicking myself in the shin with the idea that to be a good blogger you must post at least five days a week, with a post planned and scheduled in advance, rather than just doing what feels good and what feels natural and what feels me.
So expect things to switch up around here. Expect things to be more me and less what I think my blog should look and feel like.
Expect me to go off on my own little internet journey, rather than just copying what everyone else is doing because I’m scared what I’m doing isn’t good enough.
Do more and care less.
That’s my mantra for the year.
BRB off to start working out how I get out of this rut of just blogging about blogging every week. Lol. Someone bring a girl a tray of tequila.