This isn’t a very me post to write.
I mean, don’t get your girl wrong, I so flippin’ adore lipsticks. Bright, jazzy matte colours that lift the soul and the mood and ahem, distract from the hazardous hormone spots loitering on the chin, but I don’t tend to enter into beauty posts like this.
I think I fear you’ll be like booooooooooring *never reads blog again*, because I’m not one of the internet’s legendary beauty gurus.
But whatevs. I had fun putting it together. I had fun taking 574765875 selfies by the window and praying my neighbours hadn’t seen me, and boy did I have fun rubbing cotton buds doused in micellar water across my lips between colour changes.
I looked like I’d been in an intense 72-hour make out session under a duvet with a boy who had his first sprouts of facial hair sprouting through by the time I’d finished and it was nada a cute look.
As much as I love my current lipstick collection (I keep them all snuggly at home together in an old black floral tin that used to be my nan’s sewing tin because she was the QUEEN of a statement lippie in her heyday), I’m looking at dipping my toes into the liquid matte pool.
I want nudey-brown tones and things that make me look like Kylie Jenner because wooo look at me I’m so original and ground-breaking and unique, lol jk I’m just as basic as the rest of Instagram.
So plz, plz do hook me up in the comments section. Thanks galdems.
1. RELENTLESSLY RED – MAC (shop here)
My first ever MAC lippy.
Actually, I lie. My first was Candy Yum Yum, but I haven’t felt fun enough or glowing enough to pull that hunk of a bright pink off in quite a few years, sob.
I love Relentlessly Red because well, it’s not red despite what the name suggests.
It’s this perfect deep pink hue, with red undertones rather than purple and I find it insanely flattering because it doesn’t wash skin out. Whatta hun <3
2. 107 – KATE MOSS FOR RIMMEL (shop here)
I bought this high street lipstick when an old uni pal rocked up to mine wearing it and I was like girrrrrrrrl, you look AMAZING.
Since then I’ve found out it’s a shade secretly adored by many. Like, once you start wearing it people can instantly spot it on you, like you’re all part of some secret, fun lipstick club. Like ‘OMG LOVE YOUR LIP COLOUR – 107, RIGHT?’ and you’re like HOW DO YOU KNOW.
But yeah, it was my first ‘dark’ shade, and is the perfect not-too-scary berry shade for winter.
3. ATOMIC ORANGE – BOBBI BROWN (shop here)
This is relatively new to my collection, and I *think* has replaced Illamasqua’s Soaked as my fave matte orange-red of all time.
There’s something about an orange-tinged red that suits my skin tone, blonde hair and green eyes, or so I’m told by make-up people, so maybe that’s why I’m always drawn to them.
This is the shade I’ll be living in come cocktails, beach and OMG HOW DID I GET SUNBURNT I WAS OUTSIDE FOR 22 MINUTES FFS weather.
4. STARK NAKED – URBAN DECAY (shop here)
The only nude that I go back to, mostly because I’m not even 100% sure there’s a nude out there that remotely suits me. HOW DO YOU ALL MANAGE TO MAKE IT LOOK SO EFFORTLESS? Legit the woman in MAC made me try on like 7 and all of them made me look a *bit* like I was dying of some lip fungal infection. Cute, eh?
Anyway, this is the shade I’ll often sling in my bag when I feel like I need a little summin summin stronger than lip balm to pull my face together. Like when I’m trotting about Ipswich town centre looking for striped tops or when I’m eating avocado on toast or something that is equally not suited to a dramatic lip. Ya get the gist.
5. INSTIGATOR – MAC (shop here)
I love this little fellow, but it scares me a bit. Like, what lip liner do I use? And if I forked out for a lip liner would I actually wear this harrowing but perfect shade anymore? Ya’know?
I was actually inspired to pick it up after colouring in my lips with black liquid eyeliner for Halloween. You know how it is.
My main problem is that I’m not sure I go anywhere edgy enough to pull this off. Like lol what’s that girl over there in Nando’s wearing on her lips?
6. WATERMELON – BOBBI BROWN (shop here)
Oh hun, you perfect little pink pop of happiness.
This is a little brighter than Relentlessly Red and less, well, red. It’s a true bright but wearable pink perfect for white summer dresses and big ol’ sunglasses and eating lots of houmous and crisps. You know the drill.
I find the pigment and texture of this really rich and creamy, and I’d say I actually prefer it to MAC matte lipsticks because it’s not as drying and the colour just looks so darn vibrant.
P.S. I dunno why that last selfie looks like it’s gone through Facetune 743865 times and the others don’t. Like, is there some special skin-smoothing setting on the Olympus Pen because omg how do I make myself look like I don’t have any pores all the time plz?