I’ve been meaning to do this post for ages. I’ve had new sassy girl shoes (lol, wrote hoes the first time round and basically cry laughed on my own at my desk like someone that really needs to get out more), and some actual going out-out (I haven’t stepped foot in a club since early 2k14, just fyi) dresses in my wardrobe.
Like guys, the last time I bought a dressy dress that wasn’t for a wedding was like omg yeah I have no idea. Y’know how when you’re 18 you spend every single pay cheque on New Look heels and Saturday night dresses? Yeah, well things change a lot when you get old and have cats. A lot.
Anyway, after coming up with various possible plots about tricking Chris into taking a variety of outfit photos for me, I decided to admit defeat and go completely mind-bogglingly old school.
I took mirror pics. Yeah I did.
I mean, this *probs* isn’t something I’ll do forevermore – mostly because I had to CARRY this ginormous mirror between rooms to get good lighting, but it’s nice to mix things up and go back to blogger basics.
Although, the Olympus Pen is very profesh of me. Soz, shoulda used my phone like it legit is 2011.
(I use my phone for a lot of my photos just FYI – that iPhone 6 lense <3)
Oh, and just a heads up, I’m wearing Spanx cycling shorts from Primark in these photos because I’m hella sexy. And a strapless bra. And no fake tan. Really, really sorry about that last bit.
THE FEATHER SLEEVE DRESS <3<3<3
Yeah alright, alright, I’ve been harping on about this dress a lot. On Instagram, on Twitter, on Snapchat and EVEN on my personal Facebook page. It’s totally unheard of for an item of clothing to get such widespread coverage like that.
I like anything with feathers or sequins. Anything that makes an actual piece of wear-out-the-house clothing look a bit like theatrical costume.
And this one is so flattering, innit? The skater shape of the skirt means it doesn’t cling too aggressively to my love handles, whilst the off the shoulder cut even somehow manages to look cute and a bit flirty despite my heaving cleavage.
I wore this out to a close pal’s family party the other week and got about 474563 compliments. Proof alone that it is THE New Year’s Eve dress of your dreams.
RED CAMI DRESS
Some days you just don’t wanna wear black y’know?
Honestly, you don’t know how hard I tried to make sure that damn red ribbon hanger cord thingy didn’t get in any pictures, and there it is, just lingering about and getting up in everyone’s grills, FFS.
I love the scalloped edge to the high neck of this dress – it would just look absolutely delicious with an updo. Can’t lie, I DID try and do an updo for the photo and then wondered why I looked like a bald potato.
SEQUIN DRESS AND OTK BOOTS
I actually think I look a little bit bangin’ in this outfit, even if it is a teeny tiny bit sexy-witch-at-a-Halloween-party, but whatcha (whitcha ahahaha) gonna do.
Maybe it’s an age or insecurity thing but I’m most happy in a long sleeve dress, because you don’t have to worry about getting caught in a photo and omg why is my arm wider than my face.
This one hangs in a really nice way, it kind of sits on my curves rather than clinging or downing them and that’s A-OK with me. Everyone needs a little extra room for mulled cider and blocks of Brie, amm’i right amm’i right??
Dress – Motel at ARK (sold out but similar here) / Boots – Ted & Muffy, £350 (seriously luxury buy – but they come in different calf sizes, which is great for gals like me – and FYI you can get 25% off when you sign up for your first order)
LACE TRIM CAMI DRESS
Something mental happened, I bought a strappy little sassy dress from PRIMARK, and it fit like a glove. What the?!
In fact, I’m wearing it as I type this. Albeit layered over a grey roll neck and teamed with tights. See, I’m an ace at making party dresses work for lonely make-up free days working from home.
I’ve worn this a few times already mostly because it’s so easy to throw on and goes with everything. AND IT COST THIRTEEN MEASLY POUNDS.
I also have to give a big ol’ shout out to these LAMODA heels (they also come in red, silver and black) and are the most comfortable heels I’ve owned in a long time. Mostly because the lace-up effect is so sturdy and makes your feet feel ridiculously secure.
I wore them all night last Saturday (dancing included) and didn’t have even the teeniest tiniest feeling of omg someone cut my feet off now this is too much.
Dress – Primark, £13 (in-store only) / Shoes – LAMODA, £26.99
FAUX FUR JACKET
I feel like I’m ending on a bit of a bum outfit note, so, uhh, soz.
Sadly, because my legs are about as long as a 30cm ruler, jeans are never going to look woah mumma, on me, and because this top is quite long it further helps make my legs look all lickle and squat n’awwww.
I’ve been living in this jacket though. It’s not slimming but it’s hella cool and, most importantly, hella warm. Like so warm. And cosy. I think every gal needs something like this for party season to stop her doing a drunk cry when she’s standing in a taxi rank.
The top comes in about 7 other colours and has an amazing lace up back (which was, ahem, seriously difficult to photograph alone).
Fashion resolution for 2016? Invest in more cute dresses that I can wear for dinner AND for cute little saunters into London for coffee, meetings and shopping.