Ah, the good old days.
When, a couple of months before ol’ Crimbo, you’d pull out the Argos (and the Index, because let’s not forget about that gem) catalogues and get flicking with a Biro firmly in your hand for present circling.
You’d start by pouring over the jewellery at the beginning. Maybe this year you’d get a silver Forever Friends necklace with a teddy on! OMG <3<3<3
Then you’d quickly browse the home stuff, hello cute fluffy fairylights and matching curtain and duvet sets, before finishing at the back, with the creme de la creme of what the toy kingdom had to offer.
OH MUMMA ???
Seriously though, time well spent, especially if there was a cracking episode of The Queen’s Nose just playing in the background.
Anyway, here’s what you defo wanted.
1. A crystal growing set. Because OMG WHAT’S PRETTIER THAN CRYSTALS EVERY COLOUR OF THE RAINBOW? You tried to grow one. It looked like a small lump of green mould. In fact, that box might still be lingering in the loft somewhere. Boxing Day activity anyone?
2. A make-up palette. But if it didn’t have 52 eye shadow shades, 12 blushers, 10 lip shades, a mini mascara, lip liner and hidden compartments popping up from every angle, then heck, what was even the point?
3. Baby Born. No, she wasn’t just like every other bloomin’ doll. THIS ONE WAS LIKE A REAL BABY! She could do poos (or so you’d heard from your rich friends on the grapevine).
4. ALL the jewellery with your birthstone on. See, your love of personalised stuff started early.
5. China dolls (who had their named printed on the back of their necks?!). So that you could collect them and keep them all on a shelf and it wouldn’t be at all creepy. Nuh uh. They always wore petticoats too and it made you wish you had one too, kinda.
6. A Mr Frosty slush machine because hello, imagine being able to make your own slush puppies from home every single damn day.
7. A bright pink stereo. It would sit on the centre of your chest of drawers like a trophy to tell people that you were incredibly cool and hip and happening. You’d play your S Club Juniors CD on it and make up dance routines, you’d also record songs off the radio onto a cassette and listen to them in your portable cassette player.
8. A robot dog toy that could bark and walk and do flips. Tbh it was probably as close as you were ever going to get to a real dog, so…
9. A groovy chick duvet set AND matching bean bag, because every girl gotta have a bean bag to slouch about on after school.
10. A set of six pairs of plastic pink shoes. Nope, you didn’t know how you were supposed to wear them out the house, or when you’d EVER need six pairs of almost identical pink heels, but girl likes what girl likes and ain’t that the truth.
11. A doll head that came with a brush and 73265765 different hair accessories because obvs you got to practice being able to do hair as well as the models in Mizz magazine.
12. A candle making set where you could make STRIPED CANDLES OMG. Who cared if they didn’t smell of anything – you were never going to light them, they were too pretty <3 Just what every girl wanted in her bedroom, right? An orange and green striped pyramid candle?
13. A Barbie Dream House. Sure, it was one of the most expensive things in the kids section, but one day it was going to be yours <3
14. A lava lamp. No explanation needed. OR. One of those glitter lamps that looked just like a lava lamp but had glitter in. Mental.
15. A tamagotchi. You would feed it and care for it and therefore prove that you were WELL capable of getting a real life pet hamster.
16. A trampoline that was basically the same size as one you’d seen at school once and once you got it you would probably become a national trampoline champion.
17. A Doodle Bear. Like, he could actually go in the washing machine and you could start again. YOU WOULD NEVER RUN OUT OF DOODLE SPACE. What a Christmas miracle.
18. A Scaletrix set because back the eff up, you weren’t JUST about the pink glittery toys y’know? You liked cars too.
19. A pink camcorder because even way back when in the 1990s, you totally knew that home videos were going to make you a millionaire. It’s actually your parents fault that you’re not now a global YouTube sensation.
20. One of those electronic cars at the back of the catalogue that you just sat in and it moved along. I mean, it pretty much looked like a real car and everyone would think you were so damn cool.
21. Sylvanian Families. Maybe in a barge or cottage.
22. One of those fairy Barbies that you could put in a tree stump and pull a cord and omg she can fly. Except she was a bit temperamental and sometimes flew into people’s faces. Or onto shelves and knocked things off. But y’know, Barbie knows best.
I’LL TAKE ALL OF IT PLZ <3