This time a decade ago I was probs sprawled out in my sixth form common room pigging out on pick n mix and watching the boys play pool. Hashtag sassy.
Yes that’s right, I said a decade ago. An actual decade. Ten years since I was at sixth form. Someone get the violins out and throw me some pension paperwork or something.
Anyway here’s the things we all secretly miss about sixth form…
1. Having random free periods during the day to either a) nap, b) flirt or c) go get food.
2. And having friends with cars to take you to whatever food your heart desires. McDonald’s at 11am? YOU GOT IT. Sweets at 2pm? FOR SURE. Ice cream at 3pm? ALRIGHTY.
3. EMA. Or it’s longer known name: Education Maintenance Allowance. And listening to everyone who didn’t get EMA whinge about how unfair it was whilst you tried to work out whether to buy a new Rimmel mascara or bottle of wine with yours.
4. FINALLY getting to feel like the popular American teenagers from films because hell you be all fly and fancy in your own clothes. LOOK LOOK, I’m wearing a Jack Wills hoodie and the rest of you losers are in school uniform. Suckers.
5. Having that ONE friend who was 18 and could buy alcohol. Planning a Tesco shopping trip for a week where you’d all load into one car and loiter awkwardly in the vodka aisle trying to be discreet about which bottles you wanted your friend to buy you. Praying to the law enforcement gods that no supermarket staff would realise your master plan.
6. College parties AT REAL LIFE CLUBS and planning what to wear for about 5 weeks before. Making at least three weekday trips into town to source the perfect slightly-slutty outfit to wear because WHO NEEDS SATURDAYS FOR SHOPPING WHEN YOU CAN DRIVE IN AT LUNCH.
7. Spending more time than you’d ever care for your parents to know working out how to get the right amount of drunk before said college parties because lol you’re not old enough to drink once you actually get in there. Like, can you smuggle some miniatures in your bra or nah?
8. Coming in hungover and giggling in your head that OMG IMAGINE IF THE TEACHERS OR ALL THESE LITTLE KIDS KNEW. You are a rebel, you’d probs get expelled. Mentalist.
9. Sharing IDs with your friends. Like OK, I’ll take my passport and you can have my driving license but you’ll have to walk into the bar 10 minutes after me so that no-one looks suspicious.
10. ‘Shall we do something during third period?’ ‘Can’t pal, got a driving lesson’.
11. Striding out of the school gates like a smug little bitch whenever you were coming and going during the day. Look at me just free as a bird busy being an adult whilst you paupers are caged up in classrooms.
12. Risking 20p hot drinks from the common room machine and being disappointed every single damn time. I mean like, you’re not rich enough to just galavant off to Costa, so watery lukewarm chocolate will have to just become your go-to hun.
13. Leaving year 11, disappearing for four months for a long summer and suddenly having teachers and dinner ladies treat you like a real person and feeling like you’d probably all hang out down the pub like old friends on a Friday night.
14. People believing that now they were ‘in college’ they’d legit have a chance with all the trainee PE teachers. Yuh huh.
15. Bringing in portable DVD players and iPod speakers for the common room and being like WOAH, the future is proper mental.
16. Having teachers pop their heads round the common room door and ask you to ‘keep it down’ because there’s actual classes going on. Meh, whatevs.
17. The highlight of everyone’s year being planning road trips to Newquay. Because woah holiday on your own.
18. Going FUCK IT and sharing two bags of salt and vinegar chipsticks, a loaf of bread, pot of cream cheese, 3 bags of fizzy fangs, two bars of 19p chocolate with one friend as a post McDonald’s snack in the afternoon. Still weighing less than nine stone because hey metabolism.
19. Finishing for the day at about half three and still having a good seven hours to live your life before bed. Would you do Orange Wednesdays, spend your weekend job money on pizza or y’know, actually do your coursework?
20. Getting to see your friends every damn day, even if it meant also having to spend hours trying to make yourself sound like Rory Gilmore on your personal statement. I mean, you DID do the Duke Of Edinburgh award so do you even need your A Levels really?
21. Feeling like you had your whole future ahead of you. Like anything was possible, you could take on the world whilst surrounded by your fave people and omg let’s just get drunk <3