17 Things You Need To Remember During A Quarter Life Crisis

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I remember assuming that weird void during uni – that whole Britney Spears style ‘not a girl, not yet a woman’ period of life – was my quarter life crisis because hey, I’d probs live to 80 and so 20 seemed about right.

But nah.

My fuzzy brain and unstable mood was more to do with the hormones still whizzing through my body like excitable sherbet landing on a wet tongue, and the fact I felt out of control because omg I’ve just uprooted my entire life and plonked it down 60 miles away and WAIT, HOW DO I DEAL WITH FINANCES AND THAT?

It’s not like I’d say I’m entirely in crisis right now, but I’ve started to notice this questioning of everything. It started soon after my 25th birthday and as I’ve done things like move to Ipswich and take on full-time blogging, I’ve noticed it more and more – my brain is constantly searching for an answer to why we do everything.

Like, what’s the point?

What’s the number one singular most important thing in the world? What should be our daily life motivation? To be happy? To make an impact? To bring about change? To bring children into this world? To do something remarkable? WHAT?

I spend a long time stuck inside my own brain wondering if I’m taking the right path and making the right decisions or whether I’ve got everything entirely wrong, whether I should start again. Whether I should be a doctor or fly out somewhere to help orphans or do something worthwhile, y’know?

But anyway, this is for those days where you kinda feel it too. When you feel like you haven’t got your shit together, when you feel like you’re spiralling, when you just can’t quite grasp where to go from here.

Because babes, this whole growing up malarkey is hella confusing, innit?

 

1. Growing up is SHIT. There isn’t a person older than you who says that they were happier when they were younger. Everything does gets better with age, you just gotta ride it out.

2. Possessions do not equal happiness, although they’ll happily equal a bank balance that makes you feel agitated and out of control. The quick shoot of OMG THIS IS GOING TO MAKE ME LOOK SO AMAZING that comes from a new dress won’t last forever. You DON’T need the cute new things everyone on Insta is uploading to be happy. You need people, challenges, security and a stable life set-up.

3. Even when it feels like you want to lie in bed and watch Cameron Diaz movies until you get bed sores, there’s nothing that’ll make you feel quite like the sparkliest version of yourself like showering, make-up and getting out of the house – if only to grab coffee – will. And you KNOW it.

4. The easy friends – the ones who you can not see for half a year and then pick up again like ‘ whatcha have for dinner last night?’ are the ones you need in your life. The low-maintenance ones. The ones who won’t judge or add piles of stress and negative emotions onto your already pretty weighed-down shoulders. Dem guys be the best.

5. No-one is ever talking about your downfalls as much as you think they are. Not ever.

6. World domination and master plans do take time. So cutting yourself some slack to roll around in blankets and 4OD doesn’t mean that you’re lazy and not dedicated enough for success – it means you value your mental health over success which is 100% the right way to be.

7. Your mind WILL move on. Whatever is going on in your life that makes you feel :(:(:(:(:(:( will eventually go away. People all around you have survived the most hideous things, and eventually? Eventually they moved past it and found happiness.

8. Staring at water is possibly the most calming vision known to man. Sometimes there is nothing that’ll cure your agitated, angsty mood and then bam you’re staring at the sea and hello to feeling like the wise mother tree in Pocahontas.

9. Nothing will hide a ferocious bad mood (ahem, 2-hour cry-a-thon) like a fedora, sunglasses and red lipstick. No-one need ever know.

10. You’re not the first person to fight whatever it is that’s bringing you down. So speak to people, be open. Discuss with friends, or family or strangers on the internet that have blogged about it. You’re not a freak and you’re about as alone as a photo of avo on toast on Instagram.

11. Refreshing social media for the 97th time in a day won’t clear your mind. PUT DA PHONE DOWN. Be productive. Go for a run, get one of those grown-up colouring books, write until you get handache like you’re at school or bake something with half a packet of sugar in it.

12. The future is completely unwritten for all of us. No-one else has a say in what yours looks like. We’re part of a generation that can get up and do anything without it being deemed out of control or insane or completely mad stonking bonkers. If you want to up and leave and live on an island you can’t pronounce for the rest of time, you absolutely can. YOU are in control of your destiny (lol, I sound like I should have a crystal ball).

13. When you feel overwhelmed, just stop. Remove yourself from a situation, take some deep breaths – the type that you have to really concentrate on – and make some tea. Taking control of yourself and starting again feels bloody damn empowering.

14. There’s something ridiculously comforting about crying everything out. I mean, do it in the comfort of your own home whilst wrapped up in ALL the duvets if possible, because ain’t nobody like having to deal with the aftermath of ‘wait, did a random nice lady on the Tube really have to pat my leg, give me tissues and ask if I’d be OK?’ FFS, that’s the second time this week.

15. Things you’re worrying about right now will seem about as exciting and problematic as a chipped nail come this time next year. Like oh, did that happen? Meh, don’t remember.

16. Writing out life plans and ambitions in nice bright felt-tips pens has a surprisingly motivating effect on your soul, just sayin’.

17. You can Google image search ‘inspirational life quotes’ and sure enough there will always be something that just gets you as you are right now. And it’ll change your mood and your way of thinking and suddenly you’ll remember that life is OK. No, it’s more than OK. It’s fascinating and exciting and unknown and full of opportunity and you’re absolutely going to nail it. Yeah you are, sister, you got this.

  • Hannah Kingwill

    I needed to read this SO much – thank you!!! Xxx

  • Jess

    YES, HFG, YES.

  • I needed to read this list today…although as I’m nearing the big 3-0 I suspect I’m nearer a third-life crisis.

    My crisis involved me quitting my job and moving to China with my boyfriend in February- best decision ever but now I’m wondering what the hell I do when I come back. Right now writing colourful ‘life plan’ lists and dreaming up get-rich-quick schemes are my main activities!

    We’ll figure this out right??!!

    kirstenmunro.wordpress.com

  • I loved this list! Numbers 4 is so true and something that I’m really starting to notice. And 7 !! And staring at water πŸ™‚ xx

  • YES. You’re so right about number one – life does get better as you age. But to be honest, all of these are spot on! xx

    Sam // Samantha Betteridge

  • Another cracking list! The fact that possessions do not equal happiness and stopping when overwhelmed are things that I have only really learned in the last few years and have honestly made me so much happier.

    http://www.emmainks.com

  • Megan

    Thanks for this Hannah….really uplifting read. Love your posts πŸ™‚ x

  • Caragh Campbell

    I really needed this today and by coincidence, I was looking at inspirational life quotes yesterday lol.
    Thank you Hannah for putting into words, the mess that was going through my head.
    The staring at water bit is soooo true and I love that my walk to and from work gives me a view over the river and I think I am going to make the time to stand, even for 2/3 mins and just gaze over the view and empty my mind.

  • Lauren

    OMG I totally Google inspirational life quotes all the time haha, glad it’s not only me! x

    http://www.wonkylauren.com

  • Water makes me so at peace with the world, it solves everything. And a good cry about just life makes it feel just a little bit more manageable

    x
    http://www.siobhanrothwell.com

  • Kb

    Love this bit:

    You DON’T need the cute new things everyone on Insta is uploading to be happy. You need people, challenges, security and a stable life set-up.

    It does seem like everyone and their aunt is posting about their Chloe bags atm, what’s a girl to do? Blogging can be such a positive thing and bring us down in an instant. This is a nice bit of common sense.

  • I so needed this post today! Just when I feel like my life is crashing around my ears you post a inspirational themed blog post and life feels that little bit better ^-^

    I’ve just started a new job and having 2 weeks intensive training. I’ve seriously hit a wall and no longer retaining any info. On top of that my health is pants and my anxiety is sky-rocketing.

    I’m looking forward to a day off tomoz. I am so not gonna slump in my pjs though. Off to see my Mumsie for lunch and I’ll remember to wear lipstick πŸ˜€

    Wendy Xx

    http://www.bumpkinbroke.com

  • This is just perfect! Also glad I’m not the only one Googling inspirational quotes for a bit of morning motivation…
    Danni x

  • jayem

    Ah you are just amazingly on the ball. Always. Love this. Love your blog. You’ve kept me plodding along on the lowest days x

  • I bloody LOVE an inspirational quote. And you’re right – sometimes it only takes a couple of days or weeks to give you a totally fresh perspective. x

    Sophie Cliff

  • Eve

    You just always get it absolutely spot on. Thank you for putting your thoughts out here for us to read, we all got this.

    Dahliariver.blogspot.com

  • Kerry

    Thank you for this! Just moved back to uni a couple of hundred miles from home (and my long term boyfriend) for my last year and I’m feeling pretty blue so I really really needed this! Xxx

  • Love this post, definitely need to remember these points especially number 5!!

    http://www.ohsobecky.com

  • This is such a great post, I’m 21 and feel like I’m having a life crisis about the choices I’ve made and if I’ve got in too deep with things. I’m also totally guilty of looking for inspirational life quotes!

    http://ordinarygoingson.blogspot.co.uk/

    xx

  • Love this I so needed to hear this right now it’s definitely cheered me up πŸ™‚ xx

  • Are you in my miind?? I needed this kick up the ass today. Thanks gurl. x

    http://collectinglabels.com

  • Sophie

    This is the best post I’ve read of yours Hannah, fab work. I’ll definitely be saving this one, thank you xx

  • Such a fab list Hannah, and even as someone who bottles up their feelings and worries a lot, a good cry really does help!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty

  • Another brilliant and hilarious post. Thanks Hannah!

    http://www.gemmacarey.com

  • amy

    yes, yes, yes, I quit my full time job 3 weeks ago as it was slowly killing my soul. I am still unemployed but I have no regrets. I will get another job this month. Value your mental health over success – I feel this is important, when something is wrong your head will let you know. I am 24yrs old and I have been in a midlife crisis since I left uni, we’ll probably live to 90 so I think we have freedom to have a crisis all through our twenties.

  • MY HOROSCOPES PREDICTED THIS, BOO. Don’t worry – EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY AS IT’S MEANT TO BE. And is set to get megz better. If it makes you feel better, being a Libra, I’m about a year behind where you’re at now (cosmically speaking), so that’s nice… x x x

    • I love you cosmic analysis of everything. I’ve been harping on about ‘being on the cusp of something big’ all month, I just KNOW there’s magic about to happen. I can feel it in my bones.

  • EJ

    I have felt like this for the most of a year and I just felt like i was in a massive life sized rutt, you really hit the nail on the head with this post !! Thankyou for making everything a little clearer ….. I’m getting up this morning and I am going for my dream job!!

  • Hannah

    Wow what an amazing list, this is bang on! Made me feel sooo much better about not totally having my life planned and stopped me feeling guilty and lazy for having me time perhaps sometimes a little too often…it’s for my mental health!! πŸ˜‰ thank you Hannah love your blog xxxx

  • Looking good and love the board games. lol. xx

  • Living in a generation where we have all grown up to think the world is our oyster is incredible but also overwhelming! We no longer accept the aspirations of our parents and strive to be the best version of ourselves, making money from doing what we love and seeking total contentment in every aspect of our lives. What a tall order we burden ourselves with – of course it’s not always going to go to plan!
    Thanks Hannah for admitting that sometimes we need to cut ourselves some slack – success rarely happens overnight!

    A Quarter Life Crisis

    love,
    alex x

  • Pingback: Weekly Note To Self: Work Out, You Need It | Positively Flo()

  • Why do your blog posts keep getting more and more of a staple pep talk in my life?! Not ready for a quarter-life crisis just yet but I definitely needed to read this rn, so THANK YOU. Served as a great reminder that not everyone else has it all figured out and it’s okay to not be composed 100% of the time.
    I’m definitely not off to stare at the rain now, thanks number 8…!

  • ‘Possessions do not equal happiness’ this is so key! we are told to go to school get a job and make money and then once you do all that you’ll be fine. it never works out that way! You get some money and then realise you’re not actually happy with all these things you can now buy because you don;t actually feel satisfied with your life. This post resonated so much.


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