Twenty six. Oh you.
I desperately Googled to make sure this was very much still mid-twenties and not part of the scarier, SHIT WHY ISN’T MY LIFE TOGETHER, late-twenties. (Google assured me that nah, 27 is that age, so I got a whole 361 days to pull myself together and pay off my credit card and stop sobbing myself to sleep for no reason and y’know all that stuff. Cool.)
I had such a big build up to this birthday, and when I say that I mean I put a lot of pressure on it. It’s the first year I’ve had off work for a few years and the first year that I’ve attempted to jam-pack it with as many plans as I have for a little while.
I had this moment on Wednesday (the day before) where I was just driving through Ipswich in the rain on the hunt for a gold polka dot trinket tray and a Starbucks autumn cup and I just felt this electrifying happiness surge through my veins.
Neyo and Pitbull came on and I had to refrain myself from doing all the happy weeps into my steering wheel. Overwhelming happiness and pride at your own life and your own life adventure into adulthood can really catch you in the most mundane of moments.
I often find that real contentment, that real FLIPPIN’ HECK LIFE IS GOLD AND RAINBOWS AND GLITTER contentment never comes to me when it should – when I’m out for expensive meals or with all my favourite people. They come to me when I am alone with my thoughts, when I am driving or drinking coffee on my own or flying thousands of miles up in the air. Those moments when you have time to reflect without Instagram’s overwhelming fashion week FOMO aggressively beating you down.
I love those moments, those are the moments that truly take my breath away.
I had a good birthday. Nope, a great birthday tbh.
We spent the eve before getting dressed up and battling an apocalyptic storm to drinking cocktails and champagne and red wine and eat all the beef and cod cheeks and chicken liver parfait and creme brulee, and the actual morning getting massages and drinking tea in bed.
I like doing proper grown-up civilised couple stuff like this with just Chris. Because life has this horrendous habit for flying past in the blink of an eye and although I know it feels like we’ve got ages to enjoy each other before like, my fertility darts off a cliff and all that blah blah blah I’m freaking myself out stuff, we probably don’t.
It’ll feel like a few months and then OMG HOW AM I THIRTY.
Y’know how life does that?
Anyway, yeah, birthday.
For lunch we ate all the macaroni cheese, sweet potato fries and burgers washed down with pints of Diet Coke because duh, gal pals. Then spent the afternoon weighing up whether we should drive 50 miles to look at some kittens that looked like they *could* have been Rudey’s (we decided that nah, we’ll wait until after my mini sunshine break to Mykonos this week) and instead watched Teen Mom 2 and drove to the RSPCA to cure my kitten broodiness temporarily.
THEN we had a surprise birthday dinner with Chris’s family at his mum’s and I basically thought I might explode with calories at this point, but y’know, no regrets. AND instead of a cake because I’m not that big on birthday cake (no-one unfollow me on Twitter, I’m so soz) Chris had basically done a haul on everything from Patisserie Valerie, so yeah, I ate Mille Feuillee, lemon cheesecake and fruit tart for pudding.
Growing lass and that.
I spent Friday feeling like I should do something wild and spontaneous and grown-up and ground-breaking.
I watched American Horror Story in bed and wrote 1,000 words of book-y stuff.
You know me, groundbreaking.
And then spent Saturday drinking Midori cocktails and champagne* and eating pizza with my Sussex home girls in our pyjamas whilst listening to KISSTORY and discussing gossip about people we haven’t seen in NEARLY A WHOLE ENTIRE DECADE.
(*Prosecco. Aside from the one bottle of Moet that Chris had stashed in the shed along with popcorn, chocolate, party hats and cider as a surprise for us. I know, he’s a hideous boyfriend).
And now it’s over and I feel a little bit out of the working loop. I have 57385637856 emails to reply to and slightly fewer blog posts that need to be written before I head off to Mykonos for my last getaway of 2015.
I’m still undecided as to whether I’ll vlog it or nah. I’m taking my laptop for plane writing but then I’m switching off. I’m going to read and look at that brilliant blue sea that never ends and continue to reflect on life. Reflect on how far I’ve come and what I want from the future and what’s really important to me.
I’m excited for 26, growing up is all kinds of fun.