Admittedly, I have some serious mixed emotions about the change in season.
Yay to snuggly nights in with candles, button up pyjamas and good autumn TV, massive sad face to being so cold you can’t get to sleep and SAD harassing you at every possible opportunity.
Oh UK weather, you enchanting little beast.
Here’s why we should all get up and do little happy dances about the fact September is nearly here… WOO TO THE HOO.
(It’s also my birthday month, so y’know, there’s that).
1. Those loose, fine knit jumpers and everything about them. Just eaten a 17-course meal? No-one need know. Growing a human? I can’t see it. Wanna layer up because I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE WEATHER HAS UP ITS SLEEVE TODAY? It’s got you covered. Tucked into skirts or worn loose with jeans? This fella can do both.
2. Plum lipsticks all day erry’day. Instantly making you look somehow more majestic and chic than before.
3. Being able to tut and post at least seven tweets about the fact advent calendars are already on sale in Tesco. Then buying two anyway because y’know PMS and that and what if the good ones sell out quickly?
4. Kicking leaves. I mean, maybe not actually walking along the streets in London and kicking them because you’re an adult and British and you don’t want to draw unwanted attention to yourself, but like, going out of your way to walk through the deepest pile of leaves when no-one else is around and feeling damn pleased about life.
5. Pumpkin spiced lattes. Although they only count if you put them on Instagram, who are we kidding.
6. Not having the sun aggressively waking you up at 5am. Like erm no, go away lol, got two hours left before my alarm goes off and I plan to be dreaming about a very naked David Beckham for all two of them.
7. Slouching about in a onesie or a fabulous pyjama two-piece the minute you get home from work and not needing a fan or a cold drink because it’s a bit nippy, innit?
8. Packing away all your razors, fake tan and pedicure props into a dark cupboard covered in spiders, sadness and mystery. SEE YA LATERZ, LOSERS.
9. Mashed potato. Stews. Toad In The Hole. Pies. Roast Potatoes. Screw you fancy summer watermelon and feta salad, mumma’s back.
10. Eyeing up a really, sexy, glossy, shiny, perfect conker just lazing about in the leaves and wondering if maybe, just maybe, you should make this the year you start collecting them again.
11. Being able to chain-drink tea without feeling like you’re boiling your vital organs.
12. Pretending like maybe this year you’ll celebrate Thanksgiving because everyone needs a Christmas warm-up to prepare your stomach for the large quantities of roast potato and turkey about to ambush it, right?
13. Halloween and Bonfire Night, also known as two of the most pointless holidays in the calendar BUT LOOKS FIREWORKS AND PICK YOUR OWN PUMPKIN AND ISN’T THIS LIFE SO GREAT?
14. American TV programmes start up again. Hello to streaming Grey’s Anatomy online and sobbing until your face aches and you look like a blob fish.
15. Dreamy, sexy, indulgent autumn candle scents. Why make your home feel light and fresh when you can make it smell like cinnamon apple cake?
16. Not feeling guilty about collapsing in a pile of TV, sofa and blankets the minute you get through the door from work. It’s already dark alright? It’s basically bed time.
17. Doing that thing where you get a massive blanket-like scarf and wrapping it around your face. Feeling like one of your chic street style girls on Pinterest, actually looking like you’ve just nicked your nanna’s knitting project.
18. Your electric blanket suddenly springs back into action. Hello my old friend, it’s been too long.
19. Being able to justify every accidental online shopping order with ‘early Christmas prezzie for myself’ and every slice of cake with ‘gurl gotta make sure she’s got her winter layer on’.
20. Mulled wine becoming a thing again. Hot alcohol? I’ll take all of it please, kind sir.
21. Being able to go out in bright sunlight and enjoy a nice, leisurely walk in the sunshine without worrying whether you’ll burn or get v.desirable back sweat patches.
22. No longer being inundated by ‘beach body’ campaigns that make you want to roll your eyes back to 1876.
23. Dedicating at least 37 minutes a day to scouring the web for that perfect new winter coat. Do ya go classic and grey or sassy and babin’ in pink?
24. It’s suddenly becomes really flippin’ easy to decide what colour to paint your nails. You can go for red, or dark red, or really dark red. Done.