UK Fashion, Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

Comfort Eating, Junk Food And Being ‘Fat’

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I felt for ages that I’ve needed to address this, but I never really knew where to start.

I’m not skinny. I’ve not got that classic enviable body shape that you see plastered all over Instagram. And as I’m typing this I’m feeling a crushing sadness, because I’ve spent so long wanting that more than anything else – wanting to have that body that everyone else admired, wanting to fit into size 8 clothes, and it’s sad to have to come to the reality that that will never be me and to let go of that dream.

I’m writing this post the morning after a binge. I used to be a huge binge eater. You know the sort of binge. The one where you’ve been semi healthy all day. A pot of yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, some soup for lunch, maybe some popcorn to fill that 3pm void, and then you get home and there’s this wave of emotion and tiredness and FUCK LIFE. So you trot off to your corner shop and fill your arms with anything that’ll bring just a touch of happiness and positivity to your life – anything that’ll give you a moment of amazingness.

I did this yesterday. I purposely ate a small bowl of chicken broth for dinner so that I could make up my calories in sugary rubbish from my local Co-Op. My poison of choice? Dime Dairy Milk and a £1 pot of sugary watermelon sweets. Which just FYI, are my favourite kind of sugary sweets along with blue and pink bottles. Come to mumma, you guys.

I sat on the sofa with Chris and ate said sugary sweets from the comfort of my sofa den and chewed them up on one side of my mouth because the other side was a tad tender from a lame wisdom tooth and I was just feeling a bit damn sorry for myself.

Fast forward an hour later and I’m lying in bed in my pants and an oversized t-shirt from Pink and I feel like absolute shit. I feel like the worst version of myself, physically. I’m bloated and feel sick, and I’m lying there just digusted at myself for inhaling so much sugar and so many calories in such a tiny time frame. Why did I need that? Why did I need that surge of happiness that enters my blood as I’m throwing the food back? Why?

Present day Hannah isn’t much of a binge eater. Mostly because I am happy. Truly happy. The sort of happy where you don’t have to rely on cheap kicks of e numbers and carbs to boost your mood, if only for the 10 minutes you’re inhaling it.

And when I do do it, I remember why I don’t. I remember the surge of guilt and feeling like a whale monster flopping about the place. The feelings of overwhelming unattractiveness that are left alongside the empty wrappers. It’s just not worth the comedown.

Don’t get me wrong, I bloody love a good Dominos delivery after a long and sleepy Sunday. I get a bit giddy when Chris suggests we get dine in for £10 from Tesco on a Friday night rather than eat the leftover veg rotting in the fridge draw, and there’s nothing that makes my soul happier than a curry and cava night with the girls.

But those situations are different, they are opting for a less-healthy meal option rather than just attempting to wolf down as many calories and e numbers and sugars and carbs within a short space of time to fill a void, the way you do with binge eating.

And binge eating is the reason I’m larger than I’d like to be. The reason so many people feel the need to comment on my weight. Binge eating is what got me to this place. Binge eating of the emotional kind.

That, and heavy drinking (and 3am doner meat and chips – guilty), oh and some splendid genes which mean I have supersize boobs and thighs, which is nice.

I don’t remember when I started binge eating, I don’t remember whether it came separately to the bulimia or whether it came hand in hand with it. My memory is hazy, but I have images of coming downstairs in my dressing gown and stuffing whatever I could find into my pockets – chocolate bars, cakes, bread, dinner leftovers. My absolute favourite was those Heinz tinned steamed puddings, all the yum. And then eating them in secret in my room within a couple of minutes, hardly stopping to breathe.

Then I’d drink a shit tonne of water and stick my fingers down my throat.

Bulimia never made me slimmer. It never made me lose weight. It just let me eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. It also gave me hideous headaches, made me need to nap all.the.damn.time, made my teeth basically transparent, gave me bad breath, and made me spotty.

Sure, I wanted to be as thin and pretty as the girls in Sugar magazine, but when I started on my decade long cycle of abusing my body it was because I wanted to be in control. I wanted a hold on something when it felt like everything else was changing and out of my control.

I wanted people to care about me, to love me, to want me, I desperately wanted attention.

And, as time went on and I got help, it was much easier to let go of the whole sticking my fingers down my throat part of bulimia than the binge eating part of bulimia. And, strangely, it’s only been in the past couple of weeks, as I’ve reflected on my weight and my relationship with food growing up, that I’ve realised how long I continued to binge eat even after my bulimia itself had calmed down.

So at some point, I stopped with the weekly binges. I know they got less when I moved to London. I lost a bit of weight, I drank all the wine and ate all the salads, but honestly? It’s living with Chris that has put routine into my food and eating habits.

I’d be too embarrassed to just sit on the floor in my Primark pyjamas knawing my way through enough food for a 5-year-old’s birthday party. And I don’t need to, I don’t need that sort of comfort and fleeting excitement the way I used to. Because happiness.

I won’t ever be slim the way I want to be slim, the way the world wants me to be slim, because the years of alcohol and binge eating have taken their toll and done their worst to me. I could diet it away, but I know it would be a long and tough road and I’m just not sure the outcome would make me any happier than I am now.

And you know what? I love eating salads for lunch and then saying FUCK IT LET’S ORDER ALL THE GARLIC BREAD SIDES for dinner. I love getting a Bircher pot and skinny latte from Pret, only to get to a press day and instantly accept the chocolate croissant ushered my way. I love enjoying food. It’s who I am.

I’m sorry if my less than perfect body offends people and makes people feel the need to call me out on it, but this is who I am. This is me, flaws and all. And maybe, maybe it’s worth asking why somebody is the way they are – maybe there are emotional scars from their past that have damaged their relationships with food.

We’re all too ready to hate people for not being magazine beautiful without knowing about the person inside.



66 comments so far.
  • I’m sure I speak for all your blog users when I say that you have a great body, you don’t need to even respond to people who think they have a right to comment on it, and all of us are susceptible to a binge at times – thank you for this extremely honest and poignant post!

    Debs x

    http://www.theyounglondoner.com

  • I used to binge eat and suffer from bulimia too and it was going to uni and living with my boyfriend at the time that really sorted things out for me.

    I think you look absolutely gorgeous, and although we all have bad days just remember that you’re not the only one who feels pressure to look like this!

    Rach
    x

  • Anon

    I have never commented on a blog before but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this.

  • Miranda

    Thanks for your honesty Hannah :)

  • Hannah

    Although I follow your blog and have pretty much read everything on here, I have yet to comment really, I’m always a little hesitant to say anything wanting to avoid the cliché fangirling!

    But I had to comment on your post today, your honesty really struck home with me. Currently I have a pretty good relationship with food – until fairly recently I have always been concerned with having that perfect body. I am now accepting of my flaws, do I want to be stronger and healthier? Yes, but I am happy to accept my curves and all.

    Your post gives me all the feelings! Keep living life to the full and remember if you’ve got haters then you must be doing something right, you’re gorgeous and don’t let the internet trolls tell you otherwise :)

    Much love
    H x

  • Thanks for sharing this Hannah! I know I definitely dont have the best relationship with food, although I never really binged, there are some weeks when I never make the healthy option – just wanting constant comfort food. I’ve definitely found as I’ve grown up I’ve got better at controlling it though! x

    Jasmin Charlotte

  • D

    So appreciative of this post and it’s practically perfect timing. I’m writing this the morning after a HUGE binge, something that is becoming more of a regular occurence because basically I’m unhappy. Binge eating is definitely something that needs more media coverage and a lot more support needs to be out there. Thanks for acknowledging that binge is an actual issue!

  • Amy

    Yay for this post! So much of this resonates with me, I dieted and then binged for years and what stopped me binging was stopping dieting! I’ve accepted that I am never going to be the size 8 that I’ve always wanted to be and I’m kind of ok with that!

    Amy x

  • This was brilliant to read; I had warped views on eating and body image from the age of 16 to 20, only last year finally facing what was wrong. I would eat pizza and diet shakes, and then when I did stop them I was still focusing on eating minimal and not nutritional.

    I love food, now I’m constantly thinking about the next meal because I adore flavours and treating myself to some bread or chocolate pudding, but there’s a bigger issue of people focusing on that which isn’t attainable for them, I remember the thinspo trend on tumblr and that always made me feel crap as a curvy girl but now thanks to Beyonce and Marina Diamandis I feel I can relate to people like me.

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty

  • Jessie

    This post is everything! It’s very brave to be that honest,especially when there’s negative twats that feel the need to comment on someone’s appearance without knowing them.

    Have a brill time looking beaut in America!

    J xx

  • Kerry

    Thank you for this post, Hannah. Never really thought about the difference between binging and just enjoying food before. Its 10:30, I’ve eaten a whole share bag of Haribos while revising before my exam this afternoon and I now realise I need to stop binging and just learn to be happy in my body.

    K x

  • Not gonna lie, got a little teary reading this. I’m not really someone to binge that much, just every so often it seems like the only thing that will make everything right in the world. Then I eat all the cake and chocolate I can find in Tesco and just sit there feeling sick wondering what I’m doing with my life. I like to think I’ve honestly accepted myself, warts and all sorta speak, but every so often it’s just not enough.

    Thank you so much for this post! I have a feeling it’s going to touch a LOT of people

    x
    https://siobhanrothwell.wordpress.com/

  • Well said Hannah! Read this and just thought, well someone bloody gets it! Love this blog, well done :)

  • J

    I read your blog daily, yet I have never commented before. This post is something to truly admire, and it just goes to show what a strong woman you are. Everyone has something about themselves they wish they could change, if its not their body, it could be their skin, their teeth, another particular feature – none of us are perfect. The best of us support one another, and unfortunately the worst try to bring others down to make themselves feel better.
    You are an inspiration. Keep writing your wonderful, honest blog, because it makes my day just that tiny bit happier.
    :)

    J x

  • I wish people would stop associating binge eating with being greedy because as you’ve brilliantly pointed out, it’s not. It usually is to fill a void of unhappiness and I’ve been there. That endless cycle of feeling down and crappy and then eating everything in sight and then feeling shit because you’ve consumed you’re daily allowance of calories in one hit…argh.

    It’s a horrible thing but i’m glad you’ve managed to mostly break free of the habit. Oh and as for enjoying food in general, that’s what it is there for right?

    I think you’ve got a great body Hannah, (no homo lol) and I think a lot of people would agree with me. You’re not fat at all, far from it. You’ve got a real girls curvy figure and most importantly, you look healthy :) xx

    http://www.kirstytalks.co.uk

  • Ignore any negativity about the way you look, you’re beautiful! I love, love, love reading your posts, they’re so real and I feel like I can really relate to this one. Can’t wait for the next update!

    littleladyzahra.blogspot.co.uk

  • Georgi Knipe

    I fucking love you Hannah Gale! You are so brilliantly honest and real. Read this at a time when I am feeling down about myself and you have reminded me that I don’t need to conform to society’s ‘perfect’ image if I am happy and healthy. You are the sort of person I want my little girl to aspire to. Hoorah for Hannah! ??

  • What an inspiring, well written post. I’m a nightmare for binge eating, and using food to treat myself or celebrate with. You know the whole “it’s Friday, we’re having a movie night, lets by ALL THE SNACKS AND PIZZA!?” kinda vibe? I’m really trying to focus on tasty treat food – stuff that actually has flavour and yum to it, rather than just carboard-y carbs.

    It’s so not easy though!

    Sophie Cliff

  • nueyork

    This was so brave so share, I really applaud you as it’s such a sensitive and personal topic. I have always been someone who comforts themselves with food, and I have been better lately as I am genuinely happy as well. It’s a really sad and vicious cycle.

    nueyork.blogspot.com

  • Great post, Hannah! It makes me so sad that some people in the world would even think to mention your weight. You’re gorgeous!

    Laura x

  • Sophie

    Hi Hannah,

    I read your blog all the time but have never commented before. I loved this post but more than that I love that you had the bravery to write it. I know that is silly but I feel as though to discuss body image and to accept your own is so taboo. We seem to constantly be writing about how to achieve the ‘perfect’ body image and so it was so refreshing to see a post about actually just accepting your own body.

    Also, you are a total babe and you always look so great in your posts so there’s that too!

  • Charlotte

    Thank you so much for this blog post Hannah, it is so refreshing to read a honest, real piece that highlights how important it is to look inside the individual instead of outside appearances.

  • Nicola

    Thanks Hannah <3

  • These are the kind of posts that need to be made. Thank you for being so open and candid about your struggles with food, I am sure so many of us can relate in some way. Your body is amazing and you always look wonderful. It’s so important that we don’t apologise for not looking the way we as women are so often told is so important to look.

    Rachel | http://www.currentlyrachel.com

  • Great post! It’s nice reading about other peoples experiences with this and knowing you’re not the only one! I wrote a similar thing on my blog, so I know how hard it is to get it off your chest and share your story! x

  • Such an honest post Hannah! I’m really pleased to hear that you are in control of your eating and you are happy!

    I’m probably the opposite to you, you’d probably class me as having a “magazine body” as I’m slim! But it’s taken me a hell of a long time to get to where I am now! I used to be skinny, very skinny and was a very picky eater. If I was ever upset I’d feel sick and actually wouldn’t be able to eat ANYTHING and would often feed my dinner to my dog when my mum wasn’t looking. I am now in a happy place but I’m still on the very slim side as I find it really difficult to put on weight! I get embarrassed when clothes don’t fit and get frustrated when people ask why I go to the gym (just because im slim doesn’t mean I’m fit)! However I’ve learnt to accept my body and in fact I’m more or less a “healthy weight”.

    So thank you for sharing this, it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only person who sometimes experiences food issues when upset – oh the emotions!

    Maisie x

  • Love your honesty here, and I hope other girls get some sense of comfort from this. When I was at uni, I used to binge eat all the time to deal with stress (not sure how it actually helped, but you know), but now I’m working 9-5, i just don’t have the time! I honestly don’t know how I managed to ever eat a full pack of McVities Chocolate Digestives in one sitting. I think moving in with my boyfriend helped too – boys only eat when they’re actually hungry! That said, I do still speed-eat a bar of dairy milk every friday when I get home from work. Weekend calories, yay! xx

  • Lisa

    Thank you for this post! I needed this so much right now, coincidently I am suffering with major comfort eating problems right now because I’m under a lot of stress from exams. Weirdly enough, I used to have loads of control over my weight back a year and a bit ago when I was suffering with depression, since I’ve been happier I’ve gained weight and it’s very hard to deal with sometimes! Especially comfort eating when stressed. I appreciate your honesty and openness about your experiences so I thought I’d share mine, I never usually talk about it! Xx

  • I’m in the same predicament, I eat so much crap – I know its wrong but struggle to stop. I know I’ll never be the size I want to be – I like food too much! …and like you was also blessed with the same thigh genes! Cheers Mum.

    I lost 3 stone about 18 months ago which has gradually crept back again. I just hate the fact I know I will have to live my life constantly watching what I eat and exercising at least 3 times a week to maintain an “acceptable” weight. I’m actually a dress size 18 and for someone like me so interested in fashion, waltzing into Topshop and waltzing straight back out again after only finding 8,10,12s on the rails make me feel so crap and results in me going home via McDonalds with a large meal AND a double cheese burger on the side to console myself.

    Not that you looking “fat” EVER even entered my mind when I see your lovely outfit pics, I’d like to stress that I much rather read a blog by someone like yourself, someone with great style who I can relate to. I especially love your amazing way with words….you’re very talented.

    I think you look really great. x

  • What a great post! I’m a bit of a bigger girl myself and it’s so hard having the pressure of trying to look skinny and just perfect on nearly every cover of every beauty magazines. How are any young girls ever going to feel comfortable with themselves if they’re constantly being told they look fat or ugly. I totally agree that we should accept our bodies and start trying to be happy with what we’ve got!

    Natalie Ann xo // Petal Poppet Blogs ♥

  • I really enjoyed reading this post – not least because it resonates so much with me. I’ve never suffered from what would be traditionally classified as an ‘eating disorder’ but to the same extent as many of the commenters here – I grew up as an adolescent girl surrounded by magazines and diets and OTHER GIRLS. And this in itself gives you such a warped perception of food and bodies.

    When I talk to my (very slim) boyfriend (who comes from a very slim family WTF) about diets and weight. It is so black and white to him – you eat too much and do too little exercise you’ll be fat. And that’s entirely within your control.

    But what he (and many others) don’t seem to grasp is the CONSTANT bombardment girls face from such a young age, from the media, from their friends, perhaps sadly from their own mums (mine included) and it becomes this life-long tumultuous relationship that is always lurking in the back of your mind, even when you become a rational and happy adult and can see it for what it is.

    Sophie xx
    http://www.fashionnomads.com

  • Emma

    This might be my favourite thing you’ve ever written and that is going some!! xx

  • Your body is not less than perfect, it’s perfect for you! Thanks for sharing your story :)

    http://laurenslittleblogs.blogspot.co.uk/

  • I completely understand how you feel, I’ve had similar experiences and never really told anyone about it. It’s ok to love food – don’t feel bad about it. You’ll be gorgeous no matter what size you are xx

  • Caragh

    I love this Hannah. I used to binge alot and get the feelings of guilt afterwards. As I get closer to 40 I sometimes still get down that I dont look like how I think I should – but I am learning and accepting that my body is amazing and if its a bit squidgy after 2 kids then thats ok – and if I want to have a day of eating not so healthy food then thats ok too.
    I love your blog, its like listening to a best friend talk. I think you are beautiful the way you are xx

  • This related to me so much. I have never actually had an eating disorder, just all the symptoms on and off throughout my teenage years. I’m 17 now, and I struggle. I binged my way through today. I used to restrict my intake and skip meals, and on a number of occasions made myself sick too. It’s horrible but now I’m left with the uncontrollable need to constantly eat away my emotions and sometimes, its just plain habit.

    What I’m basically trying to say is, you’re never alone and I think you are amazing for having the courage to post this. It is very well written.

    Em x

  • Sophie

    I think your body is awesome and I love that you wear clothes with confidence. You inspire me and I love your openness and honesty! You go girl! Xx

  • Wonderful post Hannah, just look back on this one whenever people are leaving their insults as well. The important thing is you are healthy, not what you look like (and for what it’s worth I’d be very happy to look like you, you look fab in your pics). Continue being happy, watch your food intake most days and enjoy those days you splurge! Life has to be a bit fun sometimes and what’s the point if you can’t stuff your face once in a while with all the garlic bread sides? :)

  • Reading all these comments made me so happy. It’s good to see people supporting each other for once.

    https://francescaandrews.com

  • gem

    Reading this has given more comfort than you could ever know x

  • I’ve loved you and your blog ever since I stumbled across it after seeing one of your posts being shared on Facebook but this post is just…life.

    You’re an inspiration, and have reminded to perhaps not worry about my uninstagrammable cellulite thighs. Xxx

  • Hannah this is such a great post to share, it’s so important to spread awareness about this and spread body image positivity through sharing your own personal experience. I don’t think anyone will be happy with their body due to continuous unrealistic images and our own personal battles. I’m so happy you are feeling more confident in your skin and you are content with life and yourself.

    x

    http://www.ohjanuary.blogspot.co.uk

  • I love all your posts, but this one is exceptional.
    An honest account of an eating disorder and how its effects can go on long after you have begun recovery or even see yourself as ‘recovered’.
    This is something I am trying to accept as I am currently recovering from anorexia. Even saying the words out loud/writing them down you know what I mean ;), seems strange but liberating.
    Thanks for your honesty and self love.

    Also, my favourite sweets are also watermelons/pink and blue cola bottles. And blue bon bons!

    Lots of love,
    Rosie
    x
    http://www.anenglishrosie.blogspot.co.uk

  • Thank you so much for sharing this! You are an inspiration to so many

    http://ahlbeauty.blogspot.co.uk/

  • louise

    One of my fave posts to date. So many girls associate happiness and relationships with being skinny. I am glad to see you are happy and looking healthy and fab! I relate to this post and knowing someone else is able to share and overcome their experience makes me feel positive about my issues with my self-confidence/weight.

  • Huge well done, Hannah, for writing so honestly about something people don’t publicly discuss enough. X

  • I think this is a really important blog post to have out there. Lots of people have struggled with the same things as you and I think its great to start a discussion on this. Well done! x

  • Hannah this post was so moving and so brave of you to publish as I can imagine how hard it is for you to talk about – but go you girl for hitting publish, I’m proud of you!

    Also, it makes me sad that people feel the need to comment on your body when your figure is beautiful – you’re also a lovely, lovely person which shines too! People who hate on others are insecure with themselves so just remember that it’s actually their problem not yours doll!

    Hope to see you soon <3

    Hayley xx

    http://www.frockmeimfamous.com

  • Hannah, I love how you strip away the airbrushed idealism that we see in the media with honesty. Like you I struggled with bulimia and have not quite yet managed to get to grips with not binging, sometimes things just get a bit overwhelming and the glorious feeling I get whilst stuffing my face with all the food is the only way I can find any satisfaction or relief. The guilt that comes afterwards is anther story but recovery takes time and I like to think this is a hurdle that I will get over one day.

    It is all too easy to forget that our bodies are not just an aesthetic but in some ways a visual representation of the life that we have lived. Whether that body is magazine worthy or not we need to own it and stop judging ourselves and other people solely on looks.

    I am glad that you are in a happier place now and I loved reading this post. x

    http://www.emmainks.com/

  • Lizzy

    I can’t believe that people leave comments about your weight on social media, I think you look fab (I’m jealous!), and honestly, you are SO much more relatable that most of the bloggers out there! I went from a skinny kid to a size 14 when I suddenly hit puberty age 12, and have struggled with my weight since (I’m now 24, and a size 18, which is fricken challenging). I find it so refreshing when you talked about how you were worried about the trek america trip and looking a bit wobbly and unfit, I have SO been there. I have had to accept that I will never be a size 10, but I could be a healthy size 14, and that’s ok. I love food too much, and as long as I exercise and have a healthy relationship with food, life is too short to try and be something I’m not, and miss out on chocolate and garlic bread every now and then. 😉

  • Everyone should just stop being so bloody judgmental and get a life! Nobody is perfect and if we all were then what a boring world this would be.

  • Bravo to such a brave and truthful post. Ignore those who comment on your body – the fact they’re doing that says more about them than it does about you. I think you look fantastic. – Jx

  • Loved this post so much. It’s so brave of you to put yourself out there. Have a lovely day, Assia xx

  • Yvonne Abdul

    You look fab and a normal, healthy size. When I feel rubbish about myself I take a look at Beyond Chocolate’s website and blog and Geneen Roth’s which immediately make me feel better and reassured. Thanks for being honest, I’m sure it has helped a lot of people.

  • anon

    I regularly read your blog, but i’ve never left a comment before. I really liked this post – It’s so nice to know I’m not the only one whose ever felt like this. I think the more people that are honest about the pressures surrounding body image, the better. p.s you look great xx

  • lynn

    Hannah,, eating disorder research has now established that restriction is what causes binges. So it makes sense that a day of yogurt, soup and popcorn could lead to a binge, as the body needs calories to operate every single metabolic process. I imagine you are eating more proper meals now that you work from home, so that is also probably helping you avoid binges.

    You may find the articles useful. They come from an *amazing* recovery website:

    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2013/4/11/bulimia-yes-you-too.html

    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/10/31/bingeing-is-not-bingeing.html

    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2011/11/3/binge-eating-disorder-and-night-eating-syndrome.html

  • Ok firstly, never change you for other people. Whatever you do there will always be people who will dislike who you are but then you can’t please everyone (some people hate on skinny people) and that’s al-right because those who judge you are not worth you. Changing for yourself is great because you gotta do what feels good for you. People are all different and that is awesome, not everyone can genetically fit the same model and how boring would that be? Everyone likes different things for example often with the guys I like my friends are usually like whyyyy, lol they wouldn’t pick them for me but it’s not their choice to make.

    I have had a bit of a problem with binge eating in University. In first year I was almost a size 8. After living with the worst house mate possible (a guy who wanted to date me and wouldn’t give up, was like having a live in stalker lol). I started eating more and then in third I have eaten a little more take out than I should while writing 1000’s of words in assignments. so am now a UK size 12. Anyway I too want to diet a bit more for a size 10 because at a size 8 I feel a little on the skinny side, just personally. From what I have found before University if you cook your food yourself using nice ingredients, fresh vegetables and such then eating is more rewarding especially if you grow them yourself. You can get little grow your own boxes for things like mushrooms and cress which are cute. Also just getting out and walking to the shops helps. My friend took me to a health shop today with fresh vegetables and herbs and wow it smelled beautiful and the organic mint, green tea I got was just gorgeous. Targeting why you binge eat and getting rid of that reason or taking steps to reduce it might help. In the end for me it was the sheer amount of work I had to do so now am finished I want to change my habits for the better.

    All that said though, skinniness is not really a goal to aim for in my opinion (even though I may be a hypocrite after I’ve said I’d like to be a size 10). Feeling healthy is a better goal, you know not restricting food intake so much that you have malnutrition and doing some exercise but not over doing it by being too intense about it. Be safe, seek nutritional/ exercise, expert advise if you need it and know that you don’t have to be a poster woman, many model, celebrity pictures and even some peoples social media pictures have been photo shopped and aren’t even real. There is no sense trying to be something that is not real or that may be genetically impossible for you (because everyone is different and luckily, like I say people like different things) I guess we just all have to try and be a happy, healthy feeling self and who cares about what other people say, what is it to them anyway?

  • Personally I love the fact that you are a shape that feels more real than others on Instagram. There are lots of girls online who look painfully thin then go on about eating healthily, when I don’t think they eat at all. I wish people were as honest as you are, as we need real role models like you. I’m in my thirties and although I’m no supermodel I am more comfortable in my skin, but I think there are so many really young girls who read blogs and take what they read at face value that having the honesty you always show is really important.
    Inma x
    sunshineandglow.blogspot.co.uk

  • Hi Hannah, you don’t have to be thin to be loved or admired. You have an amazing talent to share wonderful stories and that makes you unique and exceptional! You are a beautiful woman!!
    Isabel xx
    http://www.isabelbeautydiary.com

  • Lucy

    That was a pretty awe inspiring thing to post – thank you.

  • Em

    I read your blog regularly and relate often – your lists about twenty-somethings are just gold, but this post in particular really spoke to me.

    I’ve never suffered from an eating disorder but the binging is something I am all too familiar with, and I really wanted to thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one. You put this into words better than I ever could have done and from the comments already posted, it seems many others feel the same and you should be very proud of yourself.

    Ps, your figure is lovely just the way it is :)

  • Kaylee

    I love you- in a non weird way (if possible). Reading your blog is one of my favorite things to do. I love your honesty and humor. It’s great.

  • Kerrie

    Well done on being so honest and so open! And what a profound response it seems to have had with your readers- scrolling through the comments it looks as if there are SO many more people suffering with binge eating than thought! Well done again on being so brave by talking about this x

    Oh and ps- your body is fab!

  • I found your blog this evening after a long late night blog reading binge, and firstly I am in LOVE with it, your writing style is amazing and probably makes us all want to be your best mate. I came to this post after seeing your ‘how I lost a stone’ post and since this is my first time on Hannah Gale, I had a stalk of your insta too, semi-expecting to find a balloon of a human with one eye and thighs the size of Canada but you are STUNNING. Honestly, I just want to say from an external, objective perspective that even before you lost weight, regardless of the scales, you do not look fat at all in my eyes! Obviously it’s how you feel which counts and I’m so happy you feel more confident now but you are absolutely gorgeous and I wanted to tell you! Girls don’t tell these things to each other enough. Have a wonderful weekend! Alice x

    http://www.alicesantics.co.uk

  • Claire

    Thank you Hannah – it has been so good to read this. Your blog has been my favourite thing in the last few weeks when I have been struggling with my brain and my body.

    Over the last couple of years I have dropped almost three stone and two to three dress sizes, I have learnt so much about health and nutrition and discovered that I actually enjoy physical exercise. But I have also started binge eating, and ignoring some of the mental health warnings that I should know how to recognise by now.

    So here I am now, not back to where I started but realising that losing the weight is not a fix-all – I was on such a high for a while (look at this amazing new body! And these tiny new clothes! And how fast I ran today!) that the anxiety and the compulsive eating no longer seemed important. But they are still here and now I realise that there is more to life than ending the day with my MFP stats in the green. Like enjoying a scamorza pizza and a couple of jugs of wine with the boy <3

    So thank you Hannah for putting this out there. You are GORGEOUS and I love everything you write :)

    • Lynn

      Hi Claire

      Please know that there is not something inherently wrong with you. Bingeing in response to restriction has been demonstrated in scientific studies over and over. It’s a natural biological response to your diet and weight loss. Check out youreatopia.com if you’re interested in the science.

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