The other week I got invited down to the Corinthia Hotel in London to get the whole BAFTA experience, just like the celebs would before y’know, they hit the red carpet and get silently judged by everyone at home.
OK, well not the actual BAFTAs, the TV ones which are going on this Sunday and will *probably* include all the Made In Chelsea lot, and the TOWIE lot and a load of other people too.
Back when I was at LOOK.co.uk, I actually came down for the same glam experience (well alright, all of it bar the make-up, we arrived super late after a busy day in the office and didn’t have time to get our faces put on by MAC and had to borrow foundation and mascara from the Mark Hill hair team, it was erm, an experience).
ANYWAY, when I attended a couple of years previously, it was for the TV BAFTA nominations party and I actually got to meet, wait for it, waaaaaait for it – Olivia Colman. I was a bit drunk and kept watching her from across the room the entire night, like a stalker from afar. It was a couple of days after the first season of Broadchurch had ended and all I could see was love hearts and rainbows and kittens every time I looked at her. Anyway, she was polite and posed for a photo with me, and err yeah, OLIVIA COLMAN <3<3<3
First up was my St Tropez spray tan (and a couple of macarons for the road, because duh). It’s always a treat when your tanner recognises you after you’ve taken your clothes off. Like ‘ahhh yes you, I recognise you, I’ve definitely sprayed you before’, whilst you’re desperately clinging to your bare boobs and hoping you don’t have any spare, ahem pubes, hanging out of your tanning pants.
And just FYI, that’s the wonderful tan you might have noted in my Egypt photos – about 75% of that sweet, sweet colour was sadly not real. Sob.
Then I got made up by MAC. Which was mostly the best thing ever because we decided I’d have a subtle smokey eye and a red lip – and then my make-up artist was like ‘you know what? You really suit an orange-red lip because of your green eyes, so let’s go with Lady Danger’. Always dreamy to hear validation from someone who actually has expertise in the beauty area that your go-to lip colour of choice actually suits you. I KNEW there was a reason I’ve been drawn to orange-red lipsticks all these years, I just knew it.
I then got my hair sorted by the Mark Hill team – most notably Jules, who has actually done my hair before. He curled it and then pinned it to one side, which I loved because it was something I totally would never do myself. (I actually had a couple of press days to head to afterwards and everyone was like YOUR HAIR – and I was like erm, yeah, I didn’t just spend hours doing my hair this morning especially for you, soz).
Finally, I got dressed up in jewels from Carat and a frock from House Of Fraser.
When I pulled on this grey/pweter colour gown from Adrianna Papell (worth £310, eeeks) I expected it to cling to all the wrong places and make me look like a grey puddle of sick, but it did not. The way these swish dresses are built means they somehow hold you in where you need holding in and make your body shape look like the most flattering version of itself. It’s made me megz excited for when I get to go wedding shopping, something which I sort of assumed would be a sort of sheer stretch-mark hell, made slightly better by champagne and starring at your own engagement ring.
So anyway, here I am looking like a celebrity with over enlarged boobs. HOW DO I MAKE THESE DEFLATE A BIT? Aside from going on a hardcore boot camp diet with fruit-infused water and ALL the kale?
It was fun to play dress up like a Disney Princess without anywhere to go for the first time in about two decades (that made me shudder, ffs), so thank you sweet, sweet brands for a pretty damn sweet couple of hours.