Because you can admit it, it’s where you do all your best thinking.
1. This shower is lovely and hot and heavenly, I’m pretty sure this is the best feeling ever. OMG WHERE HAS THIS SHEET OF PURE ICE COME FROM. Abort, abort.
2. I wonder what the purpose of the universe is? When and why was religion created? How will the human race die out? *insert every deep, philosophical thought to have ever entered brain*
3. I should definitely tweet that, I’m so wise and interesting. Let me just get my pho – oh, right, in the shower. It’ll probably just flood the bathroom if I reach out to grab it, won’t it? I definitely shouldn’t try this should I? *attempts to grab phone, nearly breaks back on slippery floor, feels sheepish, skulks back into shower*
4. Right, let’s just get a big dollop of shower gel in my hand and then put the bottle back on the side of the shower…NO, NO, NO, why is my dollop now circling the plug hole, come back to me, I need you.
5. Ooh wait, maybe I can save this, maybe I can scoop it up. Oh no, no, its gone forever, sad face 🙁 🙁 🙁 *picks up bottle, does same thing again*
6. This shower gel smells incredible, like seriously, SO good. I wonder what would happen if I just licked a tiny, tiny bit? You never know, it *could* look as good as it tastes.
7. I don’t know why I did that, I’m not five years old. I’m glad nobody in the world was here to witness my weirdness, srsly.
8. Oh good, because I was so busy dwelling on licking shower gel-gate I’ve totally accidentally just shoved half a bottle of conditioner in my roots instead of shampoo. For Pete’s sake, HELLO GREASY HAIR. *mental face palm*
9. I HAVE ALL THE WATER IN MY EYES. I need to rub them but oh flip my hands are covered in shampoo and I don’t know how to recover from this sad, sad situation.
10. Oh, I rubbed them. All the pain. All the blindness. I’m naked, in pain and can’t see, I’m so vulnerable and alone right now.
11. Shaving your legs in the shower is like a full on yoga workout, I wonder whether I can add this to My Fitness Pal?
12. It says I should leave this conditioner in for five minutes for ‘maximum effect’. Have I even been in the shower for 5 minutes? I can’t check my phone, I’ve been alone with my thoughts, I have no concept of time, oh gawd. *waits 17 seconds and rinces hair because meh, got a life to go and live*
13. Ooh whilst I’m in here I should totally exfoliate because I spent an entire hour in the sun yesterday and I don’t want my soon-to-be-glowing tan to peel. WHY CAN’T I REACH THE MIDDLE OF MY BACK. I’m definitely going to peel in the middle of my back. What is life.
14. But also, if I just rub this same spot on my thigh for a while, all the cellulite will just disappear, right? RIGHT?
15. If I stand really straight can I actually see my toes or is my post-bread bloat so aggressive that it’s causing an obstruction?
16. I wish I had one of those really strong showers that basically give you a massage every time you wash, when I’m rich I’m going to buy one of those for SURE. And a hot tub, and maybe an entire room made into a ball pit, and 17 cats all in different rare breeds. Yup.
17. Maybe now’s the time to use this dreamy looking shower oil, I reckon it might make me look a bit like a glowing Victoria’s Secret model.
18. Can I wash my face in the shower? I mean I know everyone in the skincare world says no, but it’d save so much time and hassle. *Leaves shower, has face the same colour as MAC’s Lady Danger. Oh…. that.*
This is a sponsored post but all thoughts are my own