Because we’re all the same, admit it.
1. A pot (or empty Diptyque candle) of clean make-up brushes. Because your Sunday was hella more productive than everyone elses.
2. A cat. Your cat. Your friend’s cat. A neighbour’s cat. Anyone’s cat. Oh, or a dog.
3. A slightly drunk selfie in your full-length mirror showing off Saturday night’s outfit which is a pencil skirt and a crop top that shows one whole centimetre of flesh EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME.
4. A mug with your initial on. All the sass. *Inserts 573656744 sassy girl emojis*
5. Avocados and poached eggs on toast. Maybe with some ground pepper and chilli flakes if you’re feeling fancy.
6. A throwback to when you were skinnier, blonder and had a dazzling tan to serve as a stark reminder to everyone that you used to be hot, which means there’s a chance you could one day be that hot again.
7. A Cambembert because you have a sophisticated palette and you eat cheese and carbs and stuff and don’t give a fuck.
8. An afternoon tea. You be a posh lady who drinks Early Grey and eats scones and the world must know this.
9. A photo of you wearing a tartan scarf because guys, guys, look how alternative you are.
10. A hat selfie. Either a quirky and chic black fedora because you’re creative and mysterious or a fluffy pom pom bobble hat because you’re being middle-class and going for a Sunday walk. Hats, hats, all the hats.
11. A glass of ‘bubbly’ or ‘champers’, AKA a £6 bottle of Cava from Tesco Express.
12. A boarding pass and a passport because you are going somewhere, anywhere, and living the absolute fucking dream.
13. A nice notebook. Maybe a glittery one. Or one that says something clever. Or just one from Paperchase because Paperchase.
14. A bird’s eye view of a skinny cappuccino with a neat dusting of chocolate because gurl needs to have her caffeine fix. Manicured hand drowning in midi rings and chunky jumper sleeve optional.
15. A regram of Kim Kardashian and North West because #Goals.
16. A green juice made from a NutriBullet because you’re going to be Millie Mackintosh soon, everyone just wait and see.
17. An array of glossy magazines including Elle and Vogue because you, darling, are keeping the print industry in business.
18. A giant stuffed crust pizza from Domino’s complete with 17 different toppings and 5 sides and a smattering of different sauces because ALL THE HANGOVER. FML.
19. A new pair of jazzy Nike Free trainers. Sure you’ll wear these to the gym maybe twice but mostly you just want to look a bit hip and happening when you team them with your ripped skinny jeans.
20. A Jo Malone candle. Or, failing that and being a bit poor, just a bog standard vanilla one.
21. A smoothie bowl with overnight oats and flax seeds and almond butter and every other health food you ordered off eBay.
22. Some sort of cult reading material – either ‘It’ by Alexa Chung, ‘Not That Kind Of Girl’ by Lena Dunham or ‘Pretty Honest’ by Sali Hughes.
23. And obviously, because why the flip not, a hot dogs or leg photo whilst sunning yourself by a bright turquoise pool and drinking a pink cocktail. ENJOY YOUR RAIN IN ENGLAND, LOSERS.