Lets get something out of the way.
I’m not having bad sex, I don’t need to get laid, I’m not a virgin, and I don’t need to be sacked from the Metro for my poor writing that resembles that of a 10-year-old.
But I’ve been told all of the above about a thousand times over, thanks to a string of viral posts about sex.
I’ve had over a dozen blog posts written about me, about how I make women think it’s not OK to enjoy sex, about how I’m taking a step back against feminism and advocating rape and sexual assault.
When in honesty all I’m trying to do is relate to people.
I’ve obviously done something right because my four pieces have done mega bucks, having a combined half a million shares and 7 million page views. So there’s that.
With Internet fame, comes the haters in their truckloads. And, although I can ignore the article comments (something I suggest every aspiring journalist learns to do, otherwise you’ll end up crying in the bath whilst gulping back tear-seasoned wine) the Twitter abuse, the texts and the emails are a bit in your face.
Serious though, someone did once text me. Like, um, don’t you think you could have projected that negative energy into saving goats or rehoming carrier pigeons or something?
The land of the Internet is obsessed with how bad in bed Hannah Gale is and how bad her boyfriend must be too. The poor mite. But they never stop to think that maybe I pull the worst or funniest or most routine sex memories for the sake of my writing.
If I write about the orgasms and the love making and having sex on hotel bathroom floors whilst drunk, people would close the tab and go and read about the Eastern European woman with 7 kids who lives in a council house and just got a boob job on the NHS on the Mail instead.
You know you’d read that shit. I’d read that shit and I am bloody Eastern European. Sort of.
The fact that online bullying means you can remain essentially faceless and anonymous is too big a thrill for some a people.
You people need to go get laid, you’re the ones with too much time on their hands, pent up anger and clearly no idea what sex is really like…
In case you missed them, here’s the stories that have got people all in a hoo-ha.