25 important things to do before you’re 25
I’m now officially two months away from the big two five. I didn’t see it as a huge milestone birthday until I looked forward to what the next one would be. Thirty. Thirty fucking years old. How did the Hell did I end up here?
The way I see it, 25 is the last birthday where you can still feel young, do stupid, irresponsible things and make mistakes. After then on out you’re seen as a failure by society for not having your life on track.
After being inspired by Mary Hickey’s own list of 25 to things before you turn 25, I decided to write my own, and yes, i’ve still got a few more to tick off before I hit a quarter of a century years of age. Shit.
- Understand how much it takes to really have the body celebrities have. You need to stop dwelling on the fact you don’t look like Olivia Palermo waltzing along the beach when you go on holiday. Can you afford a daily personal trainer, a daily chef and to buy juices on the go? No, heck I can hardly even afford the work bloody salad bar once a week. Accept that unless you have the will-power of a beast and can live off Heinz soup and run every single day (which would make you really boring BTW), it’s OK to be normal and healthy looking. Like, really OK.
- Start wearing appropriate SPF every day. Stop going on holiday and coating yourself in one 10am layer of factor 4 oil. You will get cancer and you will die. It’s as simple as buying a facial moisturiser or foundation with it in, you twerp.
- To know enough about basic politics to have a party you favour and vote for. If we’re really going to want to keep moaning about the NHS, tuition fees and the government, then we better get a decent level of background knowledge so that we know the heck we’re talking about, shouldn’t we?
- Be able to win at Scrabble. Just cos. You’re an adult now, and you should have a vocabulary that matches your age.
- Know how to sew a button back on. Because how on earth are you going to cope with sewing name labels in your kids’ clothes if you can’t even get that button that popped off mid-burger back on?
- Know your body well enough to know which foods don’t agree with you, when you’re run down and when something is wrong. I notice things so much more than I did 10 years ago. If i cancel plans because I just need to sleep, I don’t feel guilty. Who cares if you’re annoying your GP or your employers, ensuring sure you’re 100% healthy is pretty much THE most important thing in life.
- Have STD tests (including the dreaded HIV blood tests) regularly. Stop being a baby over the needle. You’d rather know and be able to keep the symptoms at bay and stop the disease spreading, wouldn’t you?
- Feel comfortable enough to talk to your doctor about your poo, wee, lady bits, and, even more terrifying – your mental health. Yup.
- Decide how you feel about babies. I’m not going to go on and on about your declining fertility (although it is declining…). Just decide where you stand. If they come before your career, then don’t be afraid of taking time out for them. Even if it feels like your career hasn’t really started. You will have time afterwards.
- Accept that those days in which you eat 6 doughnuts, a family size bag of crisps, a McDonalds, a Chinese and 4 chocolate bars are a thing. A thing you can’t change and shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Everyone needs a treat explosion day. Dalis, from Teen Mom, who looks like this, admits that she regularly eats all of the above in one sitting. Just saying.
- Make a Pinterest board of something that inspires you. Maybe it’s your dream wedding, your perfect house or just fashion ideas you adore. Find something visual that makes you excited about the future. It doesnt mean you’re jynxing it if you want to look at pretty wedding dresses. I hope.
- Learn that certain brands DO come up small (looking at you H&M) and it’s totally OK to go up a size or two. Wearing a size 16 doesn’t automatically mean you’re a fat pile of unattractive slime, promise.
- The shape of your eyebrows should not be messed with. Even by a large number of professionals. You’ll regret it. Only pluck the stray hairs.
- Exfoliating is a big deal. Want to keep that post holiday tan?
- Invest in an expensive foundation. Sadly, from my time trialling and testing them at LOOK, the pricier ones are the ones that make your skin look almost the same as the girls in the Maybelliene Dream Mousse advert. I love Estée Lauder and Clarins.
- It’s not possible to wear lipstick too often. Ever.
- Be at peace with your childhood. Move on from it, accept that it happened, even if it wasn’t easy, and look to the future.
- The media lies. I am the media, we spin everything to shock you. So stop panicking about what will give you cancer and whether your womb is about to explode. It probably isn’t. We just exaggerated.
- If wearing a velour tracksuit, poncho or UGGs ever come back into fashion, be brave enough to say no. You ARE strong enough to do this.
- Accept that the majority of cool celebrities are younger than you. You have hit THAT age. Otherwise known as old to anyone below 18.
- Find a shot you can do that doesn’t make you feel like all your organs are about to explode out of your mouth. Because you’re still going to be getting drunk for ages, aren’t you? Just now you should probs try and do it with a bit of dignity.
- On a similar note. It’d be nice to know your drinking limit, not just because it’s safer, but it’d be good to not have to worry about what you’ve been tagged in on Facebook, wouldn’t it? And just think, is being paraletic all that if you can’t remember it? Nope.
- Listen to Kisstory more. Accept that music will never be as good as it was in the early noughties. It just won’t.
- Realise that after your obsession with candles and cushions, will come an obsession with herbs and gardening. So be prepared. It’s all downhill from here.
- And remember, that as old as you already feel (you did your GCSE’s nine years ago, WHAT THE FUCK), you’re life is only really beginning. Be excited. It’s gonna get good. Really good.