Can Boys And Girls Be Best Friends?

Firstly, let’s just clarify the difference between friends and best friends. If you’re hanging out with this boy on a one-on-one basis, sharing morbid secrets and happily sprawling out in a onesie in front of him then I’ll let you label it with the best word. If you only tend to see him when you’re either drinking or eating with an entire clan of other friends, than no, he’s not one of your bezzies. Girls and boys can, without a shadow of a doubt, be friends of the latter variety, there’s no depth or closeness to the relationship, no yearning to learn more about the other person, and no sense of responsibility for their happiness. Put simply, they’re an acquaintance rather than family.

Arguably, a friendship group made up of males and females is glued together by underlying feelings of attraction and lust, but that’s a whole other issue for a whole other blog post that I’ll delve into when the matter concerns me. Sorry male friends if you’re reading this, I may love you, but I certainly don’t fancy you…

So I raised the best friend issue with the Twittersphere, what sounder place to get varied feedback? It came down to one thing: us girls love having male best friends and boys? They just don’t think it works, at all.

I’ve had my fair share of boys I’ll give the honour of labelling as best friends. It’s nice because you get a fuss-free view into the world of men. You get honest opinions and a better understanding of how boys’ brains work, all topped off with a sprinkling of male attention. What could be more of a delight? A delight and a welcome escape from other shrieky girls. Most of these friendships have gone one of three ways: either someone develops feelings (and yes, it’s normally you stinky boys), it fizzles out eventually (probs because there’s no sexual tension holding it together) or the delightful little chump struggles too much with separating female friends and female love interests, and so when he gets bored with your companionship he just ditches you like a floozy.

My experiences would suggest that although I can see a male as just a best friend without a romantic side and enjoy the closeness and friendship the same way I would with a girl, the boy can’t. The boy is only, deep, deep down, developing this connection with me for other reasons. Whether he initially realises or not is a completely different matter, however…

It would appear, ladies, that we are oblivious to our womanly charms. That as much as we think close friendship is equal across genders, it’s not.

Now’s your time to pipe up boys and prove me wrong (girls, you stay quite, you just think you’re best friends with him because you can’t sense the sexual tension – he’d probably secretly quite like to rip that onesie off you) because I like boy best friends, but they seem like a bloody rare find, and that’s probably because just like dinosaurs and unicorns, they don’t actually exist at all…

  • My best friend is a girl and has been for quite a few years. I’ve slept in the same bed as her, seen her naked, watched her get dressed and I can honestly say there is no attraction at all. She’s stunning too. I think guys and girls can be friends, it just depends on how strong the attraction chemicals in your brain are for the person

  • “My experiences would suggest that although I can see a male as just a best friend without a romantic side and enjoy the closeness and friendship the same way I would with a girl, the boy can’t. The boy is only, deep, deep down, developing this connection with me for other reasons. Whether he initially realises or not is a completely different matter, however…”

    Not to marginalise ALL boys or come across as extremely narcissistic.

    It comes down to a lot of factors and you can NEVER define the roles gender plays in friendship, best friendship and relationships. Everyone is different. It could also be a communication problem whereby someone may be leading the other person on and concealing the truth to spare someones feelings.

    Also don’t discount that friendships sometimes develop further, it’s natural. You can’t absoloutely close yourself off to blokes because you are scared of them falling for you and visa versa, some of the best relationships stem from friendships, think of it as a foundation.

    The Blog post is good…but you come across as VERY arrogant.

  • Fly High Tel

    I think you are spot on, learning about this the hard way at the moment. Seems after an epically long term relationship which took up all my youth, I am now mid-twenties with what seems like loads of male best friends who have popped out of the wood work. For one reason only it seems……..

    Very interesting blog 🙂


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