Can Boys And Girls Be Best Friends?

Firstly, let’s just clarify the difference between friends and best friends. If you’re hanging out with this boy on a one-on-one basis, sharing morbid secrets and happily sprawling out in a onesie in front of him then I’ll let you label it with the best word. If you only tend to see him when you’re either drinking or eating with an entire clan of other friends, than no, he’s not one of your bezzies. Girls and boys can, without a shadow of a doubt, be friends of the latter variety, there’s no depth or closeness to the relationship, no yearning to learn more about the other person, and no sense of responsibility for their happiness. Put simply, they’re an acquaintance rather than family.

Arguably, a friendship group made up of males and females is glued together by underlying feelings of attraction and lust, but that’s a whole other issue for a whole other blog post that I’ll delve into when the matter concerns me. Sorry male friends if you’re reading this, I may love you, but I certainly don’t fancy you…

So I raised the best friend issue with the Twittersphere, what sounder place to get varied feedback? It came down to one thing: us girls love having male best friends and boys? They just don’t think it works, at all.

I’ve had my fair share of boys I’ll give the honour of labelling as best friends. It’s nice because you get a fuss-free view into the world of men. You get honest opinions and a better understanding of how boys’ brains work, all topped off with a sprinkling of male attention. What could be more of a delight? A delight and a welcome escape from other shrieky girls. Most of these friendships have gone one of three ways: either someone develops feelings (and yes, it’s normally you stinky boys), it fizzles out eventually (probs because there’s no sexual tension holding it together) or the delightful little chump struggles too much with separating female friends and female love interests, and so when he gets bored with your companionship he just ditches you like a floozy.

My experiences would suggest that although I can see a male as just a best friend without a romantic side and enjoy the closeness and friendship the same way I would with a girl, the boy can’t. The boy is only, deep, deep down, developing this connection with me for other reasons. Whether he initially realises or not is a completely different matter, however…

It would appear, ladies, that we are oblivious to our womanly charms. That as much as we think close friendship is equal across genders, it’s not.

Now’s your time to pipe up boys and prove me wrong (girls, you stay quite, you just think you’re best friends with him because you can’t sense the sexual tension – he’d probably secretly quite like to rip that onesie off you) because I like boy best friends, but they seem like a bloody rare find, and that’s probably because just like dinosaurs and unicorns, they don’t actually exist at all…


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