What’s The Right Way To Dump A Boy?


Ask any girl, and i’m sure she’ll tell you that at one point or another, a boy she’ll have been seeing/texting, will, totally out of the blue, have started ignoring her.

It’s life, it’s the dating world we’ve come to expect. Do we like it? Not really. If we liked you enough to notice you were no longer talking to us, then hell, we’d far rather be curled up on a corner sofa with you, purring kitten at feet, 2.4 children in the pipeline and a glass of fine wine in our hand, but alas, that’s life.

Boys ignore us, because they’ve decided (pretty stupidly) that they no longer like us enough to pursue us, and that’s fair enough. We’ve all got a right to return something before our 28 days are up, right? Our lives are no longer about settling down and looking after a family, our lives are about building careers, creating envious looks, being the life and soul of the party, and then, maybe if we fancy it, finding a boy.

So, because our lives are so incredibly busy, I see no reason why we can’t dump without even clicking a button. What’s wrong with the old ignoring technique? It’s been working (towards me) for the past ten years, so aren’t I allowed to use it back?

According to my male friends, no.

According to my female friends, HELL YES.

Or as one fellow female declared on Twitter; it’s still fine after 3 months to ignore a boy if you want to dump him. So after a week? Oh for sure, it doesn’t even really count as ‘seeing them’. So why this huge gender divide on the ignore strategy?

Well, for one, it’s mean. For two, it doesn’t offer them hope, and for three, it’s just courtesy to end things properly. OFFER THEM HOPE? I’m not attempting to cure cancer, i’m offering, without saying a word, to never see them again.

In my eyes, when a boy’s ignored me for all of 48 hours, I know he’s lost interest. I spend an evening dwelling in onesies and Malteser Bunnies with my friends, and then I move on and find someone new to prey on. It’s the way i’ve understood the world since I first started attempting to talk to boys on MSN chat.

This ‘fizzling out’ business? I’m having none of it. If a boy still replies to the odd text or attempt at communication, I think he might still like me. If he has the energy to pick up his phone and think of something to reply with then he still likes me (he’s practically in love with me if the reply’s witty and clever). I call the fizzling out method leading someone on, end of story.

So, as a newcomer to the world of dating, I ask you: what’s the right way to speed dump a boy you’ve only just met? In a world of lunchtime blogging, microwave pizza and treadmill TVs, I totes don’t have time to sit a boy down and give him an explanation. In fact, i’d rather swim in a purple gooey lake filled with crocodiles, sharks and Roy Whiting. Does this make me a wimp? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. Boys, when it comes down to it, you just need to grow a pair, the way we’ve learnt to.

Just another example of how much stronger women are then men… Awks.

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