Girls, girls, girls. I’ve been hearing some truly devastating stories about you ladies of late, and it seems to me like we could all do with being reminded of a fave little book of mine called He’s Just Not That Into You.
It is one thing drunkenly throwing yourself at men, hey, we’ve all been there, in fact i’m probably one of the biggest culprits out there – what night out goes down in history better than one full of regrets, right? But getting emotionally involved with people emotionally unavailable? Come on, like seriously you feisty females, it’s not 2005 and we’re not suffering the throes of harrowing hormones anymore.
Firstly, when a guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, he really doesn’t want a relationship. Even if you transform yourself into Candice Swanepoel, take him on romantically staged holidays and shower him with your girlie wit and charm, he ain’t changing. Well, not for you anyway. The thing is, unlike us girls, boys do actually tend to say what they mean. So for example, I don’t want a relationship means, I don’t want a relationship. The same way I want a McDonalds for lunch probably means he’d quite like a McDonalds for lunch – get it?
What you have to realise is, most boys don’t have the level of intelligence required to lie about emotions and love the way we can, and so they’ll actually tell you the truth, or, more frequently, play the silent card.
If he’s not telling you he loves you, if he’s not proposing, if he’s not moving in with you or inviting you to meet his friends and family, then face it – he’s probably not all that bothered about you. Even more to the point, he’s definitely not envisaging a beautiful life with you.
He’s not harbouring some festering emotional mummy problems that forces him to face committment the same way most of us face herpes – in honesty. he just doesn’t like you all that much.
What i’m trying to say is, there’s nothing wrong with being honest and telling a guy how you feel, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting love and a relationship and all that mushy fairytale stuff, but there’s something hugely wrong with losing your independence and strength along the way.
If a guy is showing you all the danger signs, then run. Run and don’t look back. Please, for the love of Christ don’t hang around and try to change his mind, because babes, it well and truly ain’t changing.
Us girls are too good for the majority of men anyway, and the sooner we start realising that and acting like that, the sooner we’ll be entirely happy in ourselves.
So let’s drop the ‘I’m ok with keeping this casual’ act when we’re not, let’s stop pretending boys like us when they don’t, and let’s stop telling boys how much we like them the minute we come within a mile of the vodka – they’re not worth our time, effort or brain space.