So, Now What?

So, you’ve got yourself a perfect group of friends, the sort that you know, inevitably, you will still be cracking politically incorrect jokes with whilst your children create havoc at lavish garden parties in years to come, and you’ve finally secured yourself a toe on the god forsaken career ladder, so, now what? What’s next?

Is this the part where you’re supposed to turn into a serial dater with the underlying dream of finding that soulmate? Or is now the final stage of ‘you’ time, the last part of life (until your beloved children flock the nest, of course) that we should be focusing, with totally selfish intentions, on ourselves?

I know we’re not all at this very exact pinnacle of life. There are friends with mortgages, friends with babies, friends with fiancées, and friends just starting out on degree courses, but for some reason, for me, this number, this sneaky little 23, is the age where I seem most concerned about what my next chapter will be.

There’s no longer the pressures of passing exams, concentrating on uni, or getting that fundamental first proper job, and suddenly whilst that huge academic pressure is lifted from my shoulders, a mysterious new pressure has landed in its place.

As someone self-diagnosed with control issues, I feel completely out of my mind searching for something to focus all of my energy on. I could go down the gym and career route, which seems the norm for city-based twenty somethings, but that just feels a little bit too soulless, especially if I have to dedicate another five years to it. But at the same time, I’d feel horrified to find myself back in another long-term relationship, and so the idea of obsessively hunting out potential future husbands, just like a certain Charlotte York, makes me want to stick acid soaked pins into both eyeballs.

The more time I spend worrying over what the next exciting project in my life should be, the more I realise I should stop trying to make life so regimented. This is supposed to be the fun part, and I’m sucking all the fun straight out of it, thanks to my over-thinking, over-planning and totally overactive brain.

What I think I need to do now, is just sit back and let life happen. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Life’s too short to sit around and question every little twist and turn that life offers. Now’s the time, if ever there was a time, to let spontaneity take charge.

I’ve got to ditch the immaculate planning, and live for the moment. Release myself from my own constraints, and learn to recognise that not everything in life can be planned down to the tiniest detail. It’s all about sitting back and enjoying the ride. I’m slightly terrified (especially if i’m to take any of the ghastly and over-confident advice from my beloved friends), but now’s the time to take all of the plunges, however harrowing they are.

So, here’s to the next five years, let’s fill it with too many laughs, plenty of inappropriate decisions, bottles of wine and lots of amazing moments.


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